Jan’s high profile and outwardly perfect life took a drastic turn in 2005 when, after more than 20 years of marriage, her husband filed for divorce. She devoted her full time and attention to focusing inward to discover and begin healing the unresolved patterns that kept her continually making choices that were destructive to her self-love and well-being.

Her life is living testament to the saying “all roads lead home;” home being the discovery of ones most authentic self. At the age of 50 she began making choices that fostered the birth of true joy and power, including a career in personal and spiritual development and marrying a man who is 21 years younger.

For more than 5 decades, she has had diverse and highly successful careers in education, public relations, advertising, investment banking, home development, television, motivational speaking, and consulting, all dovetailing in the creation and launching of her husband, Panache Desai’s international career as a transformational catalyst, author and new thought leader. Together they have two sets of twins under the age of 3. As a busy mother with a successful business, she is now living her best life.

Jan has now begun to answer an inner calling to support women all over the world in their conscious empowerment so that they too may live the life of their dreams.

 

 

12 Ways I Would Live if I had a 24 Hour Redo on Life

12-Ways-I-Would-Live

What is the greatest marvel? Each day death strikes and we live as though we are immortal. ~The Mahabharata

 

On the morning of January 13, 2018, out of the blue, the people of Hawaii were confronted with apparent catastrophe. Every radio, television and cell phone in the state received a message that a ballistic missile was heading inbound towards the islands. People were advised to seek immediate shelter. The chilling last words of the messaged warned that “this is not a drill”.

 

For the next 38 minutes, facing what appeared to be a nuclear attack, people were forced to make decisions about how they would spend the last moments of their lives. Videos posted online showed people running through the streets in a panic. Twitter was inundated with tweets from people reaching out to say goodbye to those they loved. One woman wrote that she, her husband and infant child were sheltering in a closet, the husband shielding the baby. A reporter who had just dropped his son off at the airport wrote about having to decide whether to go back to the airport to be with his son, go to his wife’s place of business or head home to his two youngest children. He couldn’t possibly get to them all.

 

After almost 40 minutes, a second message was sent stating that it was a false alarm. There was no inbound missile. There was no nuclear war. No one would die in a conflagration of unimaginable proportions. Life would go on, at least for now.


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24

2018: My Conscious Call to Self-Love

2018heart

The ball descends, the wild bells ring out and the minute hand moves to 12. This is the moment when we choose to celebrate renewal, rebirth and rejuvenation. In this moment, we are hopeful. We reflect. We have resolve. And then, for too many of us, the moment fades and along with it the hope and resolve for lasting change.

Like you, with the stroke of midnight, as another year slipped away, the limitless potential of a new beginning rose before me. Yet, as I recognized that potential, I also knew that I had a choice. I could choose to let that limitless potential fade, to let this moment slip by, or I could chose to strengthen my resolve to embrace myself with love.

Easy choice, right? Of course. Yet, why did it feel so damn difficult?

All changes are difficult, especially positive ones because it means that we have to give up some of the dark stuff that gives us false comfort. Without that false comfort, we have to start committing to building real, long-term comfort. And that’s where it gets scary. I can do this now, but how in the hell am I going to do this next week, next month or for an entire year?

So rather than getting lost in an overwhelming future, let’s instead focus on this moment only. Positive change in the long haul is the ultimate goal, but you only get there with a series of daily steps. I realized that all I had to do was make a commitment to love myself TODAY. And with the precious gift of one more day on this earth, I choose to be an awakened custodian of all that I am consciously calling in.

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12

Oprah, Brendon, Trees and Me

Oprah, Brendon, Trees and Me

No matter the circumstances, we are being reminded to live fully, love deeply and open our hearts to even the most unlikeliest of individuals because each of us matters in this greater unfolding of life.

 

It was another bucket list moment. Not long ago I was at a gospel brunch celebration at Oprah Winfrey’s home for the launch of her new book, "Wisdom of Sundays: Life Changing Insights From Super Soul Conversations,” a compilation of heart opening and profound insights and grace shared by thought-leaders and writers from her Super Soul Sunday television series. (It’s one of those books you should have on your nightstand to set your inner GPS every morning or infuse you with the spirit of peace and gratitude as you end your day.)

 

A lot of movers and shakers in the entertainment and personal development fields attended, however, my husband Panache had a schedule conflict and couldn’t make it.

 

So I went in his place. Alone.

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5

The Carol of Unconditional Love

The Carol of Unconditional Love

“Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see.” ~The Conductor, Polar Express

 

So, what's on your holiday list this year? A healthy dose of rage for the husband who doesn't even pretend to be civil around your extended family?

Insurmountable sadness for the child who has chosen such an alternative path of independence that he or she refuses to come home to celebrate anymore? Incalculable jealousy for the whip-smart size 6 sister who just received the ultimate career promotion all while being married to the doting husband and whose children both received full-ride scholarships to college? Perhaps it's a super-sized portion of guilt and self-pity as you polish off the last of the homemade Christmas cookies and gooey toffee by candlelight once the kids are tucked in snug as little bugs awaiting the arrival of jolly old St. Nicholas.

 

As you mix a strong vodka martini to attempt to drown your emotional landscape, allow me to share with you the one precious and unexpected gift I received this year that delivered such a profound ‘ah ha!’ moment that my own personal and protected list of transgressions have shriveled to almost nothing.

 

Not long ago, as the monster category 5 storm named Hurricane Irma was beating a path to our front door, I experienced what I can only describe as a miracle of consciousness.

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5

Gratitude for the Worst Things I’ve Ever Experienced

Gratitude for the Worst Things I’ve Ever Experienced

“ Life is messy, tragic, terrifying, but also unbelievably breathtaking. There are deep gifts hidden in the most demanding challenges that life throws at us. In a time of crisis, gratitude is the key to opening your heart and unlocking the magic contained in these truly profound gifts.”

In the ring stands a boxer. He is clearly exhausted. In the early rounds of the match, he was a fighter. Then, there was a hope of winning. That hope now seems long gone. Now, the boxer is simply trying to survive. Cut and bleeding, he attempts to defend himself. Taking one body blow after another, he endures the punishment, waiting for the sound of the bell.

Does life sometimes leave you feeling like this boxer? Are you dazed and exhausted, struggling to navigate your way through whatever challenge or crisis you are facing? Do the overwhelming negative emotions that you are experiencing feel like crushing blows? Are you barely enduring, waiting for some relief, believing that you may never find your footing again? If so...come sit next to me!

Life can seem like a brutal and overwhelming opponent. Believe me, I know this feeling firsthand. One doesn’t make it into their sixth decade without experiencing a multitude of potential knock-outs. Death. Divorce. Illness. Infertility. Depression. Addiction. Really, any kind of loss is like an unexpected sucker-punch. You don’t see it coming and, when it hits, you are overwhelmed by the crushing unfairness that sends you reeling into the darkness.

Let me share my toughest fights with you. Let me be completely transparent about how I’ve felt during these insurmountable times. Let me show you how I’ve made it through to the other side. My prayer is that, in doing so, you will no longer feel completely alone. In fact, I hope you recognize my words as those of a dear friend who is reaching out a hand in recognition, comfort, love and inspiration.

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11

Do I Really Need to Be Superwoman? How to Access Divine Wisdom and Insight

JanDesai_Superwoman

I spend way too many hours juggling mountains of perceived responsibilities that I willingly place on my own shoulders in an all-out effort to be the good wife, a compassionate and nurturing mother, a healthy, thriving woman, a loyal and trustworthy best friend, a voracious student of life and an ever-evolving spiritual being. It’s a big job with many hats and one that I needlessly complicate with an outdated belief that I have to “do it all” in order to be worthy of the love of myself, my family and the life that I’m living. 


There are more nights than I care to admit when I wake up at 3 am under the crushing shame, regret and sadness that I fell short of these lofty responsibilities. I yelled at the kids again… I avoided paying the bills... I neglected my spiritual practice… I forgot to return my friends call for the third time…I was too tired to make my husband dinner… I was so distracted that I ran the car into the stone gate as I pulled into the house. (I used to tell my husband that the car was hit at the store while I was buying groceries, but after the third time, he suggested I update my story or find a safer place to do the shopping!) 


I struggle to reconcile the qualities that I need to hone in order to “be love, evolve spiritually and be the best that I can be.” After all, I’m 60 now, and the sands in the hourglass of my life are hauntingly deeper and I so want to get it right while there is still time.


But then I was deeply struck with shattering clarity by author, Anita Moorjani’s newest book, “What if THIS is Heaven?” an exploration of how our cultural myths prevent us from experiencing Heaven on Earth. Moorjani is the New York Times best-selling author of Dying to Be Me, an inspiring account of her nearly four-year battle with cancer that culminated in a moving near-death experience which vastly changed her perspective on life. 

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8

Surefire Advice for Life in the Eye of the Storm

Surefire Advice for Life in the Eye of the Storm

My preference is for stability. But nothing remains constant. As the inevitable challenges of life confront me, at the deepest level I know I am constantly evolving into more. And yet that seismic shift can feel radically uncomfortable because paradoxically, all of the events that are unfolding are serving to shake me loose of the need for stability. Recently, nature in all her benevolence slapped me upside the head with a tangible reminder of how to release control and embrace surrender in the moments when I am most afraid.

My life has been lived in the eye of the storm literally and figuratively over the past 12 months We are approaching the one-year anniversary of our precious two-year-old, Celeste’s, catastrophic heart failure. And today marks two weeks since the most powerful storm in the history of the Atlantic, Hurricane Irma, plowed through our Southwest Florida community.

I already know the obvious question… why didn’t we get the Sam hell out of Dodge in advance of a Category 5 hurricane?

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7

A Letter of Our Deepest Gratitude to Organ Donor Families

A Letter of Our Deepest Gratitude to Organ Donor Families

My heart aches for you and the depth of your grief and loss.

You have faced the inconceivable; the loss of your precious child. Last night you arrived home to an empty little bed, to toys that will sit unplayed with, to a home that is unconscionably quiet.

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3

The #1 Most Invaluable Tool to Get You Through the Early Days of Crisis

The #1 Most Invaluable Tool to Get You Through the Early Days of Crisis

Crisis is the sucker punch of life. Unexpected. Lightening fast. Without a quick fix. It abruptly thrusts you into a steep learning curve of coping and survival amidst overwhelming consternation, confusion and chaos. Crisis is never well ordered. It’s impossible to make sense of it. And the new reality that arrives galloping along on its back leaves you paralyzed, scrambling to cope with even the simplest decisions.

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17

What it Takes to Stay Married: Creating a Conscious Partnership

What it Takes to Stay Married: 
Creating a Conscious Partnership

I’m a statistic; twice divorced and almost ten years into my third marriage. If you’re a numbers person, the statistics are stacked against me.

In the U.S. fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce with 67 percent of second and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.

It appears that happily ever after really doesn’t exist.

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11

3 Powerful Ways to End Your Suffering

3 Powerful Ways to End Your Suffering

I want. I want… I want…. It’s one of the most dangerous phrases you will ever speak

How can five letters hold such power?

I WANT has the immense and immediate ability to rip you away from the grace and power of the present moment while disconnecting you from the joy, passion and peace that is your birthright.

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16

How To Use This Litmus Test for Living An Authentic Life

How To Use This Litmus Test for Living An Authentic Life

What does it mean to live authentically? And most importantly, how can we know whether or not we are living it?

For the majority of my life, I ran in the opposite direction of my authenticity. I call these decades ‘my chameleon years’. I was as changeable as the person or project I was standing near. More than anything I wanted to fit in, to be accepted, to be recognized for my contribution, to feel an integral part of a clan. I wanted my parents to look at me and say, “She’s a success.”

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19

4 Steps to Beginning Again

4 Steps to Beginning Again

On the cusp of turning 50 I found myself single after being married for over 20 years.

I was heartbroken. I felt ashamed, profoundly depressed and haunted by the fear of being penniless. I felt ill-equipped to begin again. I was consumed by the never-ending loop of my own voice whispering, “I refuse to make the same mistakes in the 2nd half of my life that I had made over and over again.”

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34

30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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