Today we are going to talk about confidence: Self-confidence … being comfortable in the skin you’re in … learning how to feel secure in who you actually are.
I would like to start by just asking you: Does confidence hold you back in some area in your life? Do you feel that if you were more confident you would do A, B, C, D, E ________ (fill in the blank)?
What does it hold you back from? And what is confidence? What does having confidence mean? What does “being comfortable in the skin you’re in” mean to you?
Is it a way that you feel? Is it a way that you look? Is it an experience that you would have, or wouldn’t have? What does that actually look like in your life experience right now?
I really like this quote by ee cummings: “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
I love that! Once we believe in ourselves … I think a lot of times what does hold us back is the lack of self-confidence and overcoming the fear.
And what is the fear … and how do you overcome the fear? Well, fear oftentimes is “I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. I can’t do it. I’m not ever going to be able to do it.” And so, the key answer to the question is you’ve got to work on your self-confidence. You’ve got to work on your self-esteem. You’ve got to work on your value. You have to begin to put more attention towards what’s good and what’s working in your life, than what you’re afraid of, what you don’t know, what might not be good enough, or where your struggles have been.
So, I want to share a few ways that you can start to gain self-confidence. Each one of these could be a whole topic in and of itself. But I want to list a few here now and have you begin to see which ones jump out to you … and those could be the inspiration to make a little shift for yourself going forward … and allow you to gain some momentum to live more fully in what you want in this upcoming year.
I don’t believe confidence is about the external: the way you look, or your comparison to other people. I DO think confidence is much more about the story we tell ourselves. It’s so much more about our internal dialogue … and we use the external clues, people, experiences, events to prove to ourselves externally what we’re telling ourselves internally … which is usually “I’m not good enough. I’m not going to add up. It’s never going to work. I can’t get there.”