It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Blogs

How To Help Your Friends Living In Fear

kute10.21

We are living in intense times.

It’s easy to let external circumstances hijack our ability to be present and instead live in fear.

During these times, you, yourself, or you might have friends, who seem to be stuck in fear-based thinking and living.

This can be very challenging, especially if you’re someone who is committed to living with an open heart and boldly.

I was recently asked the question, ‘How do I help my friends around me who seem stuck living in fear?’ So I decided to share my response in a video blog. I hope you’ll find it valuable and share it with all of those love.

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42 Hits

Reorient Yourself to a Different Order of Life

guy10.11

What is behind the fear of unwanted change? The uninvestigated mind says that I’m going to sustain a loss: "he's going away," "the business is slipping," etc. The fear of loss is connected in our mind with the image of what had previously given us the feeling of succeeding. So now here’s reality, and it's pretty different than our image of what should be, and we’d rather live with the image than look at reality. But the fact of the matter is, we can see clearly now that something "bad" has happened to us and there is this sense of loss.

Why is that loss so traumatic to us? Because that loss, if it's real, means that we’re going to have to literally reorient ourselves to life. That's why we don't want the loss. It’s because the present relationship that we have imagined defines us in our world. We are defined by our relationships, and if a relationship starts to change, the way we’re defined in life and the way we know ourselves starts to change. And we don't want that. We don't want anything we have imagined to be real to show us that it's not, because the super-structure of our self as it stands is rooted in this imagined life from which we derive these feelings of security as we imagine ourselves in it.

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193 Hits

Welcome the Freedom that Comes with Being Fearless

guy927

If you were empowered to change life -- in order to give yourself whatever is always good and true for you to know and have -- would you ever make any other kind of changes? For example, would you fear unexpected events, such as a loss of any kind? No! Even though they may come as a surprise, you already know that they herald a new beginning of something better.

Would you resist the passage of time and the slow changes that grow out of it like branches on a tree? No! You already know that patience and willingness to persist through what is being revealed -- even if momentarily bitter -- will bring only sweeter fruits.

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187 Hits

Learn to Use Dark Reactions to Free Yourself from Them

guy9.14

In this life, we have one of two choices when it comes to painful events, past or present. We can either go on hating and fearing what we think life has done to us (or others), and let these negative reactions create our experience for us ... or we can learn to use these same dark reactions to free ourselves from them. But just wanting to learn the truth isn't enough; we have to be willing to see the truth if we want its liberating touch.

Hating the past and blaming it for the pain we're in now seems to justify our continuing suffering. But whatever justifies blame and hatred is, itself, a part of – in league with – these negative states. 

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267 Hits

Reconnect Yourself with Timeless Wisdom and End Useless, Painful Thoughts

guy9.6.21

We must recognize the almost endless cycle of pressure, anxiety, anger, and regret that always appears with the promise that if we follow some branch of negativity, it will lead us back to the source of understanding where we’ll be free at last. In fact, that branch we’re tempted to follow belongs to something that can never complete itself, and that requires our energy to sustain it.

Instead of trying to complete the moment through what anxiety, fear, or anger tell us to do, we must be completely present to those thoughts, completely present to that pain – a pain that promises freedom in a time to come, but is really the continuation of the consciousness that is pain itself because it lives apart from the true Vine and the true life. 

Instead of trying to untie all this experience that seems to be the product of unwanted conditions we try to control, our real task is to sever our relationship on the spot with anything in us that wants to continue trying to free itself in time.

This may sound impossible. We’re concerned about what will happen to us if we don’t serve that master.  We feel stress and anxiety, we wonder what will happen if we don’t do again what has never freed us in the past, but hope may work this time.

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499 Hits

Peace Through Your Subconscious Mind

reneeS7.24
I want to you to identify the greatest enemy of the human race, we know there is only one in that category, that is Fear. It is what inhibits people from reaching their true potential, creating apprehensions and making negative inroads into the mind. 

Simply said we can say that fear is the opposite to Love. Where love exists, there can be no fear. 

LAW OF THE MIND
You have to learn to master your own fear. Try and reach a level of calm and ease within. The subconscious mind is amenable to suggestions . It is controlled by suggestions, give it positive ones. 

STILL YOUR MIND AND RELAX
In this situation,  the thoughts of the conscious mind sink into the sub conscious. This is like osmosis, in which fluids separated by a porous membrane, intermingle. As positive thoughts, sink into the subconscious, they grow with their own kind, and you become poised, serene and calm. 
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What To Do When You Feel Lost

lost

We all have moments when we feel lost and unsure of what is going on, where we are going or what to do next.

What if in your greatest darkness when you felt lost, you were actually much closer to where you needed to be?

It’s scary to sit in the unknown. It’s often easier to go back to the familiar comforts of your old life. But this only leads to more of the same.

It’s easy to stay stuck in fear, and lose faith in such moments of feeling lost. But to act from fear only creates more drama and things to be afraid of.

Rather than act from fear and desperation, simply ….

Be still.

When you don’t know what to do…

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279 Hits

Six Things You Can Learn From Guilt

guiltShame

Many people think that guilt is a natural experience. It is a familiar experience, but it is not healthy or productive. It serves no constructive purpose. How can that be? Here are six things to think about the next time you are feeling guilty:

  • Guilt comes from fear. Your spiritual growth requires challenging fear and cultivating love. Holding onto your thoughts and feeling of guilt will not support you or anyone else. They prevent you from living in love, creating in love, and enjoying yourself in love.
  • Guilt impairs your ability to learn from your experiences. When you see something that you could have done differently, or wish you had done differently, remember how you could have spoken or acted in love instead of fear so that you can apply what you have learned next time (not to make yourself feel more guilty). Your experiences are designed to inform, support, and benefit you, not cause you to contract into fear and remorse.
  • Guilt is an experience of a frightened part of your personality, just as the actions that you regret came from a frightened part of your personality. Following fear with fear moves you in the opposite direction that your spiritual development requires, which is toward love.
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372 Hits

How A Little Decision To Face A Fear Changed My Life Forever

skilift Learning How to Snow Ski

It‘s really funny how our lives can be changed dramatically with a so-called insignificant event. My life changed completely from a decision to go snow skiing.

No, I didn’t have an accident or a near death experience. I just learned how to snow ski at age 43. Now, I know that does not sound very exciting or like a life changing experience, but it was. That one so-called little decision changed me emotionally, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. That one little decision although not an easy one for me to make, set off a chain of events that has led me here with you today, writing this article.

When I was a freshman in college my girlfriend and some of our friends took me on a snow skiing trip to Tahoe California. They set out intending to teach me how to ski. I had never been skiing before. I was a competitive gymnast and my gymnastics coaches forbid me to do any extracurricular activities that could put my competitions at risk.

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642 Hits

Step Into Your Power

lotus-flower
“Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”
 —Misty Copeland


I've Been Thinking...

As this past week came to an end, I found myself thinking a lot about Liz Cheney. I found myself thinking about her brave stand and the fear it generated within her party. I also thought about what it takes to make a stand in one’s life and the consequences that inevitably result from such a bold move.

Much was made on the news about the Congresswoman being stripped of her leadership position and her power in Washington D.C. and within her own party. But that’s not what I saw. In fact, I saw the opposite story unfold.

I saw a woman step into her power and step into her leadership. I saw a woman speak her mind. And when she was told that the party was going to come after her in her own state, she said bring it on. There is a lesson here for all of us.

When you take a stand against the so-called powers that be—at work or at home—well, they aren’t going to like it at all. There is going to be pushback. There is going to be pressure. There is going to be intimidation.

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321 Hits

To See The Future Of AI, Look Inside Yourself

artificial-intelligence

With the heightened promise and potential threats of artificial intelligence (AI) constantly in the news, people have become more deeply confused. Should they welcome the AI revolution or fear it? In either case, robotics and super-computers march ahead with inexorable momentum.

There are warnings from top-level scientists about a future in which computers become so advanced that they will leap into autonomy. Freed to make their own decisions the way humans do, AI machines conceivably might create catastrophes like starting a war. On a more mundane level, robotics has steadily replaced humans in many jobs.

Of course AI is also touted as a huge advance, yet the irony is that the direst perils of AI are already here, in the form of our own human intelligence. We feel intuitively that we have natural intelligence, not the artificial kind. After all, nobody built us from mechanical parts. We lead emotional lives; we are capable of insight and self-reflection. Despite these things, however, the human mind is deeply artificial in many ways, and the negative connotations of the word “artificial”—fake, lifeless, illusory, mechanical, arbitrary—apply to everyday life.

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Relax Needless Fear Around Others

anxietyandfear

Does it feel safe with other people?

The Practice:
Relax needless fear around others.

Why?

We all know this fear. You step into a meeting with people you know and still there could be a watchfulness, a restraint, a certain carefulness in how you speak that comes more from subtle anxiety than reasonable prudence. Perhaps someone disagrees with you in this meeting – and you feel uneasy, off balance, unprotected; maybe later you worry what others thought about how you responded to the disagreement: Was I too irritated and pushy? Do they think I’m defensive? What should I do next time? When you get home, let’s say your teenage son is quiet and prickly as usual. You want to tell him that the chilly distance between you feels awful, and you want to open your heart to him . . . but it feels awkward, you’re afraid of making things worse, and when you spoke from the heart while growing up it did not go well and the fears reaching back into your childhood shadow and strengthen your fears today, so you say nothing, again. (I have had to deal with this myself.)

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Accepting What You Can't Control, Controlling What You Can

edelweiss-with-alpenglow

Coming to grips with what you can and can’t control opens the door to true emotional freedom and personal power. I frequently receive questions about what to do in situations where someone is behaving in an unloving way, or a way that’s painful for them. For example:

  • My co-worker never answers emails, making it very hard for me to do my work, as I need his input.
  • My wife never wants to make love.
  • People often ask me intrusive questions that I don’t want to answer.
  • My husband is often late and never calls to let me know he is going to be late for dinner.
  • My friend got together with a bunch of our friends for lunch and didn’t invite me.
  • My parents are forever criticizing me.
  • I often feel invaded and demanded of by family and friends.
  • My husband sits at the table when we go out to dinner absorbed with his phone instead of talking with me.
  • My children are disrespectful toward me.
  • My wife has a male friend whom she talks with all the time and sometimes meets for lunch, even though I’ve told her I’m uncomfortable with their relationship.
  • My wife often wants to talk about what I’m doing wrong. 


Two Healthy Choices in Conflict

It is important to remember that we have only two healthy ways of dealing with conflict – two loving responses when another is behaving in a way that is upsetting or hurtful to us.

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Internal Weather

IMG_2493-1200x900

What if the weather outside your window is actually a reflection of the weather conditions inside you? What if your perceptional framework for viewing life shapes everything, including how you see physical conditions such as rain, snow, clouds, and sunshine that appear to be outside you? What if nothing is quite as it seems to be to the mind? What if the world is as you are?

Ever since I was a small child, I have carried within me an at-times-overwhelming grief about the nature of life, death, and eternity. The “human condition” terrified me; infinity terrified me. Late at night, I described my fear to my mother as “the world goes on forever and ever.” She comforted me and tried to help me learn to distract myself with happier thoughts. But the core unease never really disappeared. In college, I found infinity hiding inside my astronomy and philosophy textbooks. Fear of death and whatever came after was always hovering in the back of my consciousness. In my 30s, I turned to a spiritual quest to try to resolve it. That was the beginning of a shift in my perception.

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704 Hits

Transforming Two Fears: FOF and FOMO

transformation

There are two common fears that can block us from our full potential – fear of failure (FOF), and fear of missing out (FOMO). This talk explores how to meet these fears with mindful presence, and discover within them the essence energies of loving awareness and full aliveness (a favorite from the Archives).

Note – This talk is dedicated to Tim Ferriss, who turned me on to the phrase FOMO. Tim exemplifies the creative aliveness of FOMO energy when it’s living through someone who’s dedicated to being awake, caring and real. Check out his podcasted interview with Tara at: https://youtu.be/pXNEM4wjSmE​ and his podcast at fourhourworkweek.com/podcast/.

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451 Hits

Honoring Your Authentic Self: THE FIFTH ENERGY!

authenticself

When asked about how he was able to create lifelike, detailed forms from blocks of marble, Michelangelo answered, “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

And so it is with your authentic self. You don’t need to create your personal truth; you simply need to remove everything that is standing in the way of self-expression. And the biggest obstacle is usually fear. 

Rejecting Limits on Your Voice or Your Truth

When your fifth energy, the energy that corresponds to creative self expression, is unbalanced, it’s common to feel that you don’t have a right to express yourself. This lack of harmony can lead to fears about speaking up, for fear you’ll be judged, mocked, censured, or otherwise rejected. 

But we cannot be totally free unless we are committed to telling the absolute truth — to others and to ourselves. And this takes courage! Often, we can be led to believe stories that it is safer to fit in, or that we have to earn our worth before we can speak up. Many people have had to fight to be heard, or maybe you were punished for telling the truth. Maybe you were, like me, taught how to fit in, and that being different was dangerous. 

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How to move beyond feeling alone

alone

The biggest epidemic in the world today is loneliness. That feeling of being unloved, unloveable, alone… 

Technology has created a world that continues to become more connected... more crowded...  

and yet increasingly lonely for so many.

This persistent feeling is not just emotionally painful, it can damage your relationships, career and even your health. Lonely people tend to sleep poorly, experience depression and anxiety and have reduced immune and cardiovascular health. 

Research also tells us that chronic loneliness makes you increasingly sensitive to rejection and hostility. In uncertain social and work related situations, lonely people immediately think the worst.  

Lonely people also pay more attention to negative social information like disagreements or criticism. They tend to remember more of the negative things that happen and fewer positive things. 

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THINK Beyond Your Genes

thoughtful-evening

Time Out … a Pause to Reflect

When nutrients are placed in a tissue culture dish, cells express growth behavior by moving to the stimulus and are open to assimilate the nutrition. In contrast, when toxins are placed in the culture dish, the cells engage in a protection response by moving away from the stimulus and closing themselves down to ward off the environmental threat. Growth behavior: Move to the stimulus and be “open.” Protection behavior: Move away from the stimulus and be “closed.” The insight offered by these cells is that organisms cannot move “to” and “away” from a stimulus, nor can they be “open” and “closed,” at the same time. The profound conclusion is that organisms can switch between either growth or protection, but they cannot engage in both behaviors simultaneously.

What position do you think an individual’s “survival” switch would be in response to each of the following two news bulletins: 1) “The annual flu season is back and as normal, there are certain populations whose lives are more threatened.” 2) “The COVID-19 virus is coming and millions may die.” In previous years, you may not have been overly concerned about the report offered in version 1. However, today’s corona flu pandemic, fraught with massive potential deaths, has almost the entire global civilization engaging in a protection response, hiding from one another and “locked down” in isolation. 

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448 Hits

“Why Am I Procrastinating?”

procrastinate

Fran asked me the following question:

“I am a Ph.D. student and I have chosen my profession because I like it and not because of my parents’ influence. However, I am procrastinating every day more and more to the point where some days I don’t work at all. This really scares me and I don’t understand why I would procrastinate in doing something that I have chosen to do and is supposed to be my passion. I realize there is some fear of failure behind this, but it is irrational because I know I am capable of doing my work. I am really frustrated and scared and don’t know what the underlying cause is.”

The clue to her procrastination is this: “I realize there is some fear of failure behind this, but it is irrational because I know I am capable of doing my work.”

The fact that she is calling her fear ‘irrational’ is stopping her from learning from it and understanding it.

Her fear is likely NOT about whether or not she is capable of doing the work. Her fear is likely about whether or not she is going to judge herself if she doesn’t meet a certain standard.

Please take a moment to take in what you just read.

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336 Hits

How To Speak Your Truth With Love

love-speak

We have all lied to ourselves and others at some point in our lives, about who we are, what we think, what we have done.

Deep down our fear is, “If you really know who I am or what I have done, then you won’t love me.”

We are afraid of losing love or losing the life that we have. Living in fear is not freedom.

The truth will set you free and open you to receiving all the bigger blessings that life has in store for you.

It requires real courage. It requires the willingness to not compromise your heart, even if it means being alone.

It’s true that in the process of speaking your truth, you may lose people, relationships may end, old structures might crumble.

Know that you are clearing the space to be open to what is right for you.

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364 Hits