The apple blossoms behind Susan’s studio are opening and the weeping cherry is turning pink. And today, we have coffee on the deck, our faces in the sun. Everything is so peaceful and full of quiet that we can, for the moment, forget that the Earth is draped in a pandemic. Still, all things are true and all things are happening at once. As I breathe in the early light, someone is taking their last breath. As I wrestle with a jolt of fear, a couple is making love for the first time. As a thousand things are falling apart, another thousand are coming together. This ebb and flow on a cosmic scale is what keeps the Universe going. It feels inevitable that the more I can’t go anywhere, the more my heart travels everywhere—across the globe, then back and forth through history.
“When you start to be present for yourself and feel what there is to feel to completion, you begin to embody higher frequencies, and you become lighter, freer, and more at peace.”
For too long, you have been frenetically racing around to mend a self that you believed was broken. You’ve read countless self-help books, talked through your issues numerous times, and completed a slew of workshops. But most of this was focused on changing your thoughts or building up an impressive repertoire of nice spiritual concepts. The process we are discussing is an experience of energy changes within you. It is less about knowledge and more about living in connection with your authentic self in each moment.
At first, it can be hard to just be with yourself, as you are awash in internal discomfort. You are so trained to get somewhere, to have or create a point for everything. You are a professional human “doing,” programmed for high performance, low maintenance, and fast delivery.
I have worked with many people who sought me out after years and years of talk therapy without finding the healing they sought. I’ve also worked with people who have spent years in various forms of emotional release therapy, such as Primal Therapy, without finding the healing they seek. I myself had years of both forms of therapy without finding the inner peace and joy I was looking for – until Inner Bonding.
Peter A. Levine, in his excellent book, “In An Unspoken Voice,” states that
“…feelings accessed through body awareness, rather than emotional release, bring us the kind of lasting change that we so desire.” p. 345
In my experience, it is not an either/or situation – either we access our feelings by being present in our body, or cry or pound in emotional release, or talk about it.
Most everything that we have to say about life and our relationships with others -- and how we talk about the part of us that wants to smooth things over, keep them from being disturbed -- is a form of saying something nice about what is killing us.
Here’s the bottom line: We just don't want to go through the pain of doing what's right when it's right to do it. That’s the whole shebang.
It isn't you I'm afraid of, it's my own pain. It isn't the condition I don't want to get in and mess with. I don't want to get in mess with the parts of me that are going to beat me over the head with threats and all other forms of conditioned reactions.
Everything about your work is bringing you to a point where you understand the need to bear yourself and to do so despite being unable to do it. Then you are upon a cross. Then you go through what is required of you to have your own life.
“Your core wounding is separation from self-love, which results in deep feelings of unworthiness. The healing of that wounding is a journey back to your Essential Self..“
The details are inconsequential. in fact, you may not even remember what happened. What is important is that there was some pivotal juncture in your formative years when you first realized that your Essential Self did not fit into the conditioning of the world into which you were born. It was a moment of emotional torment and upheaval, imprinted on your being like a vibrational energetic tattoo. You were not safe.
Simultaneously with that event, a deep sense of unworthiness entered your vibrational sphere and became cemented in place by shame and guilt.
One afternoon we went for a walk, searching for a beach, to take a swim in the refreshing, sparkling Mediterranean sea.
We eventually found one and hiked down to a sweet little cove with a sandy beach jammed packed with men, women and children, in all shape and sizes.
As we waded into the water, I noticed a small canoe-like boat that was painted red and on the side were the words, in big block letters, Salvatore.
My first thought was,
“I wonder who Salvatore is and why does he need his name so boldly on the boat?”
And, even though I don’t speak Italian, I soon figured out that it Salvatore wasn’t some man’s name but rather it means “Savior,” and that this was a boat used by lifeguards.
As all of us navigate through these scary and difficult times of the COVID-19 virus, it’s becoming clear that there aren’t enough lifeguards right now, and it’s really up to us to figure out how to rescue ourselves and our loved ones.
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain
I've Been Thinking...
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that if you remain open and awake to what’s happening around you, then life will offer you an endless parade of lessons.
Lessons can come in the form of experiences. They can come in the form of encounters and individuals. And, they can come in the form of something we see up close, or witness at a distance. (They certainly come when you watch something historic happen, like the impeachment hearings.)
Not all lessons are pleasant, but they all can serve you in some way. That’s why it’s up to you to make sense of them, find meaning in them, and ultimately grow from them.
Life is our greatest teacher, but every once in a while, a really great person comes along that imparts lessons on our collective humanity. Mr. Rogers was one such teacher.
I find it amazing that he is still “alive,” even so many years after his death. I also find it important to reflect on the fact that so many of us are longing for his guidance, wisdom, and gentle tone to help us navigate the here and now.
Take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Just breathe. Those three phrases are ones we’ve all heard before throughout our lives, and with good reason. Breathing is not just the way take in oxygen to keep living, it is also one of the most powerful tools we have for dealing with negative energy. However, there’s a big difference between the negative energy we experience throughout our day and deep-seated emotional or psychological trauma.
How does a person get traumatized?
Trauma can occur from any number of things that we experience throughout our lives. According to teachtrauma.com, the most common types of trauma are the following:
- Child Maltreatment/Neglect
- Domestic Violence
- War Related Trauma
- Medical Trauma
- Traumatic Loss
- Natural Disasters
- Sexual Assault.
There are some basic symptoms of trauma that you may be able to notice. People who have experienced trauma may appear shaken or disoriented, and may not respond to conversation in a normal way. They may also appear withdrawn or not fully present in the moment, even when speaking.