Don't Rain On the Dreams of Others

Are you too quick with doubt, limitations, cost analyses, reasons why not?

Why do we have cheerleaders?

The Practice:
Don't rain on others dreams.

Why?

Let's say you've had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you're not really committed to them yet, but they have promise and you like them and are trying them on for size. Then what?

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LOVE – Monkey See, Monkey Do!

You’ve probably heard the saying “what you put your attention on grows” and this is especially true when it comes to love.  If you desire MORE love in your life, you can it today!

In recent years, science has discovered that our brains are filled with something now known as mirror neurons.  These are a type of brain cell that responds equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action. 

For instance, let’s say you are watching a couple holding hands, snuggling or kissing – whether it’s in person, or on a TV or movie screen, your mirror neurons fire off the same synapses as they would if you yourself were doing the snuggling or kissing!

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The Catalyst of All Creation is Love

In case you were wondering, love really is the answer!

It doesn’t matter what the question is. 

The answer is always love.

Love is a high frequency attribute of the True Self.

Science tells us that love makes us happier, healthier, reduces stress, relieves anxiety and can even help us live longer.

Who wouldn’t want more of that?

The sad reality is that there are millions of wonderful, beautiful people in the world today who don’t feel loved… who don’t experience love at all.

Have you or someone you know ever felt unloved or unlovable?

A life with low levels of love is a life of suffering.

Here’s the good news…

When we are fully connected to our True Self, love is who we are!

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The Purpose of Marriage

According to my late sister Debbie’s favorite holy man, Rabbi Ezagui of Chabad La Jolla, marriage is the highest calling of mankind. He says:

“True love is loving the person for what they love, who they are, for what they stand for. If you go into a marriage loving what you love, not what they love, that is not love. Real love is not finding someone to hold your hand and find common ground with; the institution of marriage is to push you out of your comfort zone, to lift you up above what you need, so that you can provide what you’re needed for,” says Rabbi Ezagui.

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How To Love A Woman [A Letter To Men]

A year ago, I wrote a blog piece that got an amazing response. It’s called, “How To Love A Woman [A Letter To Men]”.

So many people shared how much they were inspired.

Women shared that they were seen and understood. Men shared they were inspired to love women more deeply.

I decided to turn this into a very special video that is sure to inspire you.

This video is quite different and unique. It will touch your heart.

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Try to Understand Others

Painful experiences are more than passing discomforts.

What Are They Feeling?

The Practice: Try to understand others.

Why?

Imagine a world in which people interacted with each other like ants or fish. Imagine a day at work like this, or in your family, aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own.

That's a world without empathy.

Empathic breakdowns shake the foundation of a relationship; just recall a time you felt misunderstood – or even worse, a time when the other person couldn’t care less about understanding you. In particular, anyone who is vulnerable (e.g., children, the elderly) has a profound need for empathy, and when it’s a thin soup or missing altogether, that’s very disturbing. In my experience as a therapist, poor empathy is the core problem in most troubled couples or families; without it, nothing good is likely to happen. With it, even the toughest issues can be resolved.

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Take Your Relationships To The Next Level

When a person wants to reach the next level in their life, when they want to understand the truths -- the principles that actually produce in them a new kind of freedom -- they have to know where to look for it.

From micro to macro, you can discover that the whole universe is based on cycles and that these cycles run through our lives, determining our relationships with each other. And yet, there is something -- which we will call Love -- that contains these cycles… and it is right inside of us.

Once we recognize Love's existence and understand where it dwells, we can begin to intuit that we are all connected in an incredible living web through which we are meant to experience ourselves and learn from one another.

Relationship is how Love expresses itself in this universe. Relationship serves to express both the conditions under which we learn as well as those conditions that deliver us to the lessons we have to learn.

The truths that free us actually set up the conditions from which we need to be rescued for the purpose of showing us that the Truth goes before us and has always been there. So that rather than this maze of experiences we don’t understand that we try to solve or overcome, the process changes. Instead of being an externally oriented human being, we begin to become internally oriented. We understand that the order of relationship that exists for the purpose of our life itself waits for us to go to it -- waits for us to understand that the relationship we have to have first and foremost isn’t the one that our mind and feelings tell us we have to have, but that pre-exists inside of us.

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How To Get People To Change [3 Keys]

You can’t change anyone else.

It’s not your job.

The only person that you have control of changing is yourself.

Change yourself first and everything in your life will begin to shift.

Spending your energy trying to change others is a waste of time and only leads to frustration.

Consider this:

Relationships are a mirror.

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Use Every Relationship to Uplift Your Life

The greatest, most abundant resource on planet Earth is also its least understood and utilized. Its unlimited supply is found virtually everywhere, anytime, and under all circumstances, even though few recognize its real value. What is this most precious collective resource? It is our relationships.

Consider these truths: It is within relationships that we grow as individuals in everything valuable, because it is through them that we become stronger and wiser, allowing us to realize a love that transcends our unseen self-limiting self-interests. Yet, even though we may acknowledge the existence of this path to self-perfection, the essential mystery of exactly how to use this endless resource remains obscured.

What do we have to do to change the balance sheet of our lives so that for every measure of impatience and intolerance there may be at least an equivalent sum of compassion and consideration? How do we learn to use our relationships with others to realize a new kind of relationship with ourselves where we are able to discover that who we really are is all we need to be?

Our willingness to work our way through the following twelve special practices -- to strive to use these higher ideals in our relationships with others -- will reward us with the Real Life our hearts longs for.



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Don't Squabble

You know you're squabbling when you find yourself getting irritated.

The Practice:
Don't squabble.

Why?

It's one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it's a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels.

Similarly, it's one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing—but it's a different matter to get so caught up in your position that you lose sight of the bigger picture, including your relationship with the other person. Then you're quarreling.

You know you're quarreling when you find yourself getting irritated, especially with that sticky feeling that you're just not gonna quit until you've won.

Quarrels happen both out in the open, between people, and inside the mind, like when you make a case in your head about another person or keep revisiting an argument to make your point more forcefully. We quarrel most with family and friends—imagine that! But also with people on TV, or politicians and groups we don't like. We can even quarrel with conditions in life (such as an illness or tight money) or with physical objects, like a sticky drawer slammed shut in anger.

However, they happen, quarrels are stressful, activating the ancient fight-or-flight machinery in your brain and body: a bit of this won't harm you, but a regular diet of quarreling is not good for your long-term physical and mental health.


Plus, it eats away like acid on a relationship. For example, I was in a serious relationship in my mid-twenties that was headed for marriage, but our regular quarrels finally so scorched the earth in our hearts that no love could grow there for each other.

This week, try not to quarrel with anyone or anything.

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Are You Really There?

I want to share with you the following special story of a dad’s love, in showing that he really is there for his son and family.

Just this week, I gave out two of my books that had ‘sand dollar’ connections. I was out enjoying the day in the beautiful town of Newburyport, MA and came upon an artist who was displaying her creative work using real sand dollars. She had jewelry, night lights, and colorful plaques. With each item there was a story of the sand dollar and how they relate to the five doves that visited the three kings on that special night in Bethlehem. I told her that they also had a special meaning to someone else I know. I told her the following story below and said it was in a book. She said: “Now that's a book I’d read!”

That day in Newburyport was also a day I decided to do what I've often done in the past, which was to leave my latest book : Bridging Two Realms – Learn to Communicate With Our Loved Ones On The Other-Side in a random place for someone to find. I trust that the right person will find it and it could be just when they need it. I didn't even have to leave it somewhere, as I felt the urge to give it away right then and there! I reached into my bag and gave this woman a book. She offered to pay me, but of course I refused the money. The book was meant for her!

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Giving Yourself and Others Room to Grow

There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

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What it Takes to Stay Married: Creating a Conscious Partnership

Are you one of those people who would rather be right than loved? Here’s the chance to choose differently.” –Jan Desai

I’m a statistic: twice divorced and almost ten years into my third marriage. If you’re a numbers person, the statistics are stacked against me.

In the U.S., fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce with 67 percent of second and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.

It appears that happily ever after really doesn’t exist.

But this time around I’m committed to something different. I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the bumpy roads of relationships and I wish to share my greatest discovery in ensuring that the statistics don’t get the best of me… or you!

It’s called conscious partnering.

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We all Share the Same Emotional Pool

Compassion for others starts with the understanding that every human being on the planet looks different from us – because physically we are different – but inwardly we all live in the same pool.

We all have pain and pleasure, we all share emotions that move in waves through that pool. People may live on the east bank of the pool so that the waves they know are different from the waves we know on the west bank, but if we look close enough, we can see that we share east bank waves in us as well.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "How could that person be like that?" and then by the grace of God, discovered that you had done the same thing before, only called it something different? This is a beautiful realization because it proves to you that it is intended for those of us who would have a higher life to use everyone's life for our own development.

We Help Others When We Don’t Take Part in Negativity

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The #1 Tool to Radically Shift Your Relationship!

“He/she never listens to me.”

“No matter what I do, it’s never good enough!”

“I can’t trust him/her to follow through.”

“What about my needs?”

 

On a daily basis, I hear stories from people about their relationships.

They are somewhere on the scale of feeling frustrated - fed-up - frozen - finished.

They are not sure if the relationship will make it or not and whether they truly want it to or not.

They question what is best for themselves, their partner, and their kids.

They have tried talking, therapy, and yelling, as well as silence and separate bedrooms.

As they share their stories about all of the things their partner is doing that causes them pain or drives them crazy, I let them get it out for a while before I jump in and ask,

“What if it’s not about them?
What if this is happening for you instead of to you?”
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The Love Potion Enhanced by Art & Music

Prolific artist/musician Sharron Katz has an inspiring soulmate manifestation story that I just had to share with you.

Now, at age 61, she is happily with her beloved, Mike, 66, and together they are sharing a juicy, creative, open, honest, musical and artistic life together.

But it almost didn’t happen.

After a 15-year marriage and a super bad divorce, Sharron had big doubts if she would ever find real love.

Thank God she trusted her intuition, and she was willing to do the deep work on herself and of course, followed The Soulmate Secret manifestation steps.

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Are Relationships Spiritual Lessons For Us?

Did you know that relationships are mirror images of your own life? Relationships are affected by what's going on in your life. It's all about how you feel and treat yourself, as well as how you react and respond to different situations and people that are around you.

All relationships (whether they’re on an emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual level) are all part of the learning process and should nurture and enlighten your soul. No matter what category a relationship falls into, it acts as a teaching tool for you to understand the lessons that your soul needs to learn at that time in your life. While you may not necessarily understand why you enter into a new relationship at the time, it can help you to understand, change, or enhance your individual qualities.

Do remember, that every relationship is an opportunity for soul growth. Different types of relationships have an uncanny way of showing you what you need to work on in your life. At times, they can reveal your vulnerabilities and insecurities, or your need for attention, approval, and acceptance. Equally, they can identify where you may be stuck in a rut, or even where you need love, peace, healing, or joy in your life.

Relationships of all kinds are really about you, even in the hardest situations. As I've said: “They’re meant to be mirrors for us, always reflecting back what we need to see. The question is: Do you want to look in this mirror, and be open to what you need to learn, or simply pretend it's not there and pass it by?”

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Do Not Put Yourself Or Others Out Of Your Heart

What is an open heart?

The Practice:
Put no one out of your heart.

Why?


We all know people who are, ah, . . . challenging. It could be a critical parent, a bossy supervisor, a relative who has you walking on eggshells, a nice but flaky friend, a co-worker who just doesn't like you, a partner who won't keep his or her agreements, or a politician you dislike. Right now I'm thinking of a neighbor who refused to pay his share of a fence between us.

As Jean-Paul Sartre put it: "Hell is other people."

Sure, that's overstated. But still, most of a person's hurts, disappointments, and irritations typically arise in reactions to other people.

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Speak With A Softer Tone

How do you talk to people?

The Practice:
Try a softer tone.

Why?

When our kids were little, I’d come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living room full of stuff—toy trucks, tennis shoes, bags of chips, etc. At the time, the arrangement my wife and I had was that I’d be primarily responsible for income and she’d be primarily responsible for taking care of the kids, including getting them to pick up after themselves. When we were both home, we divided the housework and child-rearing evenly.

Sometimes I’d get irritated about all the clutter, and the first words out of my mouth to my wife would be: “How come there’s all this mess?!” After a day chasing children, Jan would feel criticized and sputter back at me. Then there’d be a quarrel or a chilly silence. Not good.

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Are You 2 Degrees From Your Soulmate (or your next BIG dream)

Commerical airline pilot Lisa could easily be called an adventurous woman. In addition to flying jumbo jets, she has gone on many solo journeys from mountain trekking in Peru to dog sledding in Iceland.

A student of my seven-week online course (see more info www.soulmatepassion.com), Lisa was dedicated and did her feelingizations on a regular basis, wrote and released her wish list, sent me her “letter from the future,” and completed the other exercises and rituals.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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