My fabulous men, feel free to read this, but know that this message is intended for the ladies.
As part of The Love Codes online course I am currently teaching with the fabulous Claire Zammit, I’ve been reading a lot of online profiles from our students. And I continuously see a pattern that got me thinking about the vast differences between the way men and women think and process love.
Whether you are single and seeking love or partnered up and working on keeping love, it’s critical to remember a few basic facts about most straight men:
- They crave respect more than sex.
- They can’t be happy unless you are happy and they are not mind readers, so knowing how to gracefully communicate your needs is a necessary skill.
- They love to “win” and they have to feel that they can win with you. They need to genuinely feel they possess what it takes to provide happiness.
- They aren’t great at multi-tasking, so offering them one question or one request at a time is the way to go.
- They choose a life-partner not based on looks or money, but rather on how she makes him “feel.”
It’s great to know all the things you desire for your soulmate to do and be for you, but listing them all, in great detail, in your online profile (or asking or demanding more than one or two at a time), is a set up for failure.
No matter how “reasonable” you think your requests are, it’s likely you will show up in a way that will have him think he can’t please you, or you may even appear “high maintenance.”
Now, I’m not saying you can’t eventually have all of your desires met; you just have to be strategic in your communication. And, it’s also important that it’s a two-way street…. asking and/or figuring out what he wants (If you haven’t yet read The Five Languages of Love, do that asap).
As you navigate the path of love, try focusing on how to be “easy to please,” which includes offering high praise to your beloved on a regular basis.
Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,