You know what surprises me? The numerous articles written on how to completely get rid of worry.
Please don’t get me wrong…I appreciate those articles and the suggestions offered, but I’ve never been able to rid myself of worry for good regardless of what I’ve tried. What happens; instead of just worrying, I then begin wondering what’s wrong with me that the authors of the articles can be free of worry for good, but I can’t?
Maybe I missed out on the worry-be-gone gene? Who knows? What I do know is that worry has been my walking partner for as long as I can remember.
I’ve worried about...
…people not liking me
… what others think
…money, the making it and the saving it
…losing what’s important to me and
…I’ve even worried about other people’s problems.
While I’ve gotten better about not worrying so much (and about so many things), there’s always room for improvement. And so my desire for improvement has led me on an expedition in search of ways to better deal with worry when it decides to come along for a walk.
The first thing I’ve learned during my expedition is that I will never be able to completely rid myself of worry. Worry is always going to be walking with me in some form or fashion and that’s OK. And here’s why…
Worry is similar to fear
. While we can manage it and even deal with it, it serves a purpose.
At this point you may be asking, ”What purpose would worry ever serve?”
Purpose #1: Worry keeps us safe from things that will harm us
Like the times I worry that I might burn myself when taking something from the oven. Thanks to worry I’m extra careful to pay extra close attention to where my arm is in relation to the sides of the oven.
Purpose # 2: And like fear, it also serves as an indicator of when something is important to us.
Like when we worry about our businesses thriving or that our loved ones are safe and sound.
Worry only becomes a real problem when it takes up so much mental real estate that we get stuck and aren’t able to continue walking forward because of it.
Here’s an example of what I mean.
When I realized that I had intuitive skills, rather than use them to help others I worried. I worried that people would think I was weird. I worried that clients wouldn’t want to work with me anymore. I worried, but not for a day or two. I worried for three years. YES…three frickin’ long years. That’s how long it took me to take steps to sharing my intuitive skills with the public.
And guess what?
All that worry was for nothing!
I didn’t lose clients but instead I gained clients because of my intuitive skills.
Had I used worry as an indicator that my intuitive skills were important to me (and they are!) I know I wouldn’t have allowed worry to stop me in my tracks for a single second, much less THREE YEARS.
NOW WORRY CAN STAY 20 STEPS BEHIND
I’m so over worry stopping me in my tracks and tripping me up. Here’s the deal…it can still come along for the walk but it doesn’t get to walk in front of me or beside me. It gets to stay 20 steps behind so I can’t hear it breathing.
And to keep it 20 steps behind I’m going to be using THINGS that I found during my expedition in addition to the things I already use. (See below under THE TRIED AND THE TRUE).
In an article
by Matthew May he offered some steps for dealing with our inner critics. I’ve adopted two of those steps that work well when dealing with worry and I’m sticking them in my arsenal of things to use.
Step 1: Realize that I’m worrying and in a state of stuck because of the worry.
Step 2: Brainstorm the reasons why what I’m worrying about won’t happen.
Just for grins to see how this works, let’s pretend I’m still worried that my intuitive skills will turn people off.
Step 1: OK, I realize that I’m worried that people may not want to work with me if I add intuitive readings to the services I already provide. And because I’m worried, right now I’m not willing to chance it. (HELLO STUCK IN THE WORRY RUT!)
Step 2: Why what I’m worried about won’t happen (and ultimately didn’t)…
Intuitive readings provide my clients with additional insight to the issues they are facing so they can find ways to move through those issues.
Intuitive readings are an alternative resource to use for taking dreams from paper to reality.
They are a means to find out which decisions can be made for the best results.
They offer guidance around the best course of action when it comes to work, relationships, bringing in income, etc.
Who wouldn’t want some “secret sauce” when it comes to life and business?
WOW…wish I’d had this little exercise in my arsenal a few years ago!
THING #2 and #3
Both these THINGS come from an article called, 10 Tips to Manage Your Worry
by Dr. Graham C.L. Davey
Problem-solve, don’t worry
: So instead of worrying I’m going to ask myself the following question, “What are my options for keeping this worry from becoming a reality?” If I have trouble coming up with some options, I’ll enlist the help of someone I trust and do some brainstorming.
Change “What if…?” worries to “How can I…?” worries
I know that “What ifs” don’t usually happen and I know this at a logical level, but I need to know it in my “feelers”…at the heart level. This little exercise is going to be super helpful because it’s empowering. And any time we feel empowered, we’re getting it in the “feelers”.
So say the next time I launch a new service or e-course and I’m “What ifing” myself into stall mode (What if people won’t sign up? etc. ), I’m going to ask myself questions like…
How can I offer this program in a way that’s useful and compelling?
How can I share my services with the world? Etc.
Woooooohoooo…I’ll now have some options and choices. Options and choices are great ways to take my personal power back from worry and get me moving!
THE TRIED AND THE TRUE
Even though I’ve added some new THINGS to my arsenal, I’m not going to forget about these little gems.
Focused deep breathing. When I focus on inhaling and exhaling a few times, not only does it shift my focus, but it helps me to get centered and grounded. When I’m centered and grounded, I’m no longer worried.
. Worry is great at getting us to move from the present moment into some place in the future.
What I like to use to pull myself into the present moment is a little gratitude. I like to look around and find 5 things that I’m grateful for in that present moment. Not only does this pull me into the present moment, but it also shifts my energy. As we all know worry can cause some heavy-ass energy and gratitude is a great way to lighten the load.
My friends, if you have some THINGS that help you to manage worry, please feel free to share them. And if you’ve ever felt that there must be something wrong with you because you worry, I hope this post has been helpful. Just remember, you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you!
As always, I’m here and I’m listening!
Until next time, I send you all much love and light from my open-heart to yours.