I’ve Been Thinking About Gratitude

There I was, sitting in a small back room at Molloy College, waiting to go on stage to talk about my new book, “I’ve Been Thinking…”

This was Wednesday, two days into my book tour. I had just driven two hours from Manhattan to Long Island and I was tired. I was sitting alone. I was feeling anxious. (Yes, I still feel anxious when I have a new book come out.)

I was trying to take a few moments to gather my thoughts. Trying to calm my mind and heart. Trying to remind myself why I had written this book and why I was doing all of this in the first place. Then, thoughts of self-doubt started to fill my head. (Yes, I gave up self-doubt for Lent, but like anything hard, this is a process.)

“Will anyone like my book?” I asked myself. “Of course, they won’t.”

“Oh my God, I should have added this line and not that one,” I thought.

There I was feeling a bit like “God help me.” Then, I heard my name introduced on stage. I walked out from behind the curtain and saw a packed room sitting before me. People filled the auditorium all the way up to the rafters. I looked up and around and the first thought that came to my mind was, “I’m in the wrong room! God help me! I’m in the wrong room!”

Continue reading

12 Ways I Would Live if I had a 24 Hour Redo on Life

What is the greatest marvel? Each day death strikes and we live as though we are immortal. ~The Mahabharata


On the morning of January 13, 2018, out of the blue, the people of Hawaii were confronted with apparent catastrophe. Every radio, television and cell phone in the state received a message that a ballistic missile was heading inbound towards the islands. People were advised to seek immediate shelter. The chilling last words of the messaged warned that “this is not a drill”.


For the next 38 minutes, facing what appeared to be a nuclear attack, people were forced to make decisions about how they would spend the last moments of their lives. Videos posted online showed people running through the streets in a panic. Twitter was inundated with tweets from people reaching out to say goodbye to those they loved. One woman wrote that she, her husband and infant child were sheltering in a closet, the husband shielding the baby. A reporter who had just dropped his son off at the airport wrote about having to decide whether to go back to the airport to be with his son, go to his wife’s place of business or head home to his two youngest children. He couldn’t possibly get to them all.


After almost 40 minutes, a second message was sent stating that it was a false alarm. There was no inbound missile. There was no nuclear war. No one would die in a conflagration of unimaginable proportions. Life would go on, at least for now.

Continue reading

Try Starting Your Day Like This…

Here we are in a new year, with the promise of a new day. New days. New years.


Earlier this week, my dear friend Oprah Winfrey delivered a powerful speech about a new day being on the horizon. I love that imagery, I love her, and I love that truth.

I, for one, believe this new day is already here, and that its arrival will make 2018 our best year yet. (Read NY Times columnist Nick Kristof’s excellent piece about why 2017 was also the best year yet for humanity. It will really make you think.)

Last week, I wrote that my intention for this new year is to lead from a place of love. Shifting my perspective in that way has already enabled me to make another unexpected shift — one that is changing my day-to-day life for the better. Now, instead of waking up each day and saying, “I ‘have to’ go to work… I ‘have to’ write something smart and insightful… I ‘have’ to meet with so-and-so…,” I have decided to turn my “have to’s” into “I get to’s.”

Continue reading

Your Body Is a Freaking Miracle: Loving How It Works (Instead of JUST How It Looks)

You might’ve heard it said that your body is the most amazing thing you will ever own. Your body is a miracle, a wonderland, a brilliant machine. I’m sure you’ve heard all the catchphrases.

But let me ask you this: do you believe it? Have you ever taken to heart all of the ways that your body shows up for you without your having to lift a finger?

Think of all the things that your body can do. Your heart keeps beating right on cue. Your lungs keep breathing without needing reminders. Your cells keep regenerating themselves without your help. This means that you have an entirely new set of taste buds every ten days, new fingernails every 6-10 months, new bones every ten years, and even a new heart every 20 years.

It’s performing incredible feats of endurance and protection at every moment of every day. And it never takes a single moment off … that in itself is nothing short of astounding.

But so frequently, all we focus on is that our body is beginning to creak. It’s getting fat. It’s not fast enough, strong enough, or pretty enough to make us happy. We focus on scars and call them ugly. We see a number on the scale, and if we don’t like it, we blame our bodies.

Hardly seems fair, does it?

Continue reading

The Sweetness of Giving

More than 25 years ago, my stepfather, Doc, saw me give a homeless man $20 and he asked me why I did it.  The question took me by surprise, partly because I had never thought about the “why.”

After a few moments, I told him “because it makes me feel good.”

My dream job is to be a philanthropist, which I plan to make into a full-time job when I win the lottery (I already have a plan on how to give away millions).

In the meantime, I consider myself a mini-philanthropist with big dreams.

Continue reading

These Are the Things I’m Grateful For

On this Sunday after Thanksgiving, I find myself reflecting. I am reflecting on the larger world we share. I am reflecting on our country and all that is going on here at home. And, I am reflecting on my own, smaller, world, right here within myself.

Through reflection, I find that I am able to be both optimistic and deeply troubled by the state of our world. I am troubled by the violence that exists in our society, by the state of men and women’s relationships right now, and by the hopelessness that so many feel about our politics and our national discourse. But, I am also optimistic that we are in the midst of a national awakening. I believe that we are in an awakening about our politics, about power, about the realities of sexual harassment, about economic inequality, and about the importance of having a free press that can do its job.

Continue reading

Gratitude for the Worst Things I’ve Ever Experienced

“ Life is messy, tragic, terrifying, but also unbelievably breathtaking. There are deep gifts hidden in the most demanding challenges that life throws at us. In a time of crisis, gratitude is the key to opening your heart and unlocking the magic contained in these truly profound gifts.”

In the ring stands a boxer. He is clearly exhausted. In the early rounds of the match, he was a fighter. Then, there was a hope of winning. That hope now seems long gone. Now, the boxer is simply trying to survive. Cut and bleeding, he attempts to defend himself. Taking one body blow after another, he endures the punishment, waiting for the sound of the bell.

Does life sometimes leave you feeling like this boxer? Are you dazed and exhausted, struggling to navigate your way through whatever challenge or crisis you are facing? Do the overwhelming negative emotions that you are experiencing feel like crushing blows? Are you barely enduring, waiting for some relief, believing that you may never find your footing again? If so...come sit next to me!

Life can seem like a brutal and overwhelming opponent. Believe me, I know this feeling firsthand. One doesn’t make it into their sixth decade without experiencing a multitude of potential knock-outs. Death. Divorce. Illness. Infertility. Depression. Addiction. Really, any kind of loss is like an unexpected sucker-punch. You don’t see it coming and, when it hits, you are overwhelmed by the crushing unfairness that sends you reeling into the darkness.

Let me share my toughest fights with you. Let me be completely transparent about how I’ve felt during these insurmountable times. Let me show you how I’ve made it through to the other side. My prayer is that, in doing so, you will no longer feel completely alone. In fact, I hope you recognize my words as those of a dear friend who is reaching out a hand in recognition, comfort, love and inspiration.

Continue reading

Tis’ the Season to Give Thanks

In my past when I’ve thought about THANKSGIVING; I’ve always thought about history, family, good food and being thankful for what was immediate in my life. Good friends and family, etc.


Now that I am older and wiser -  I think about what it means to be grateful. I think about where I am in my life. At this time.


When I think about how gratitude feels for me now…

Continue reading