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How The Divorce Diet Became The Integrity Advantage

As you may know, this past week, my first book, The Integrity Advantage, was released. It was a pinnacle moment filled with a smorgasbord of emotions. It quickly turned into a somewhat surreal experience watching this baby being birthed out into the world, seeing people holding the book in their hands, and knowing that they would soon be reading my words.


Many people have asked me why I committed to this concept of integrity as a way of life a few years ago. I was recently invited to write a guest blog addressing what motivated me to write this book and what I hoped the reader would get out of it. Since it was my own pain and chaos of living out of integrity that brought me to living and realizing the advantage of living an integrity-guided life, I thought I would share the blog here. 

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Does Everything Really Happen for a Reason?

When we are going through a difficult period in our lives, or are dealing with a crisis, it can feel like our lives are over. I’m sure that these last few months have felt very challenging for you, as they have for me, with the hurricanes, fires, earthquakes and, the most recent, the shooting in Vegas! During these challenging times, many well-meaning people will say things like “well, everything happens for a reason,” or “behind every gray cloud, there’s a silver lining.” Oftentimes, it is these types of statements that make us want to scream at the top of our lungs, “you just don’t understand, nothing will ever be the same” or “leave me alone … you have no idea.”


When we are in the midst of such periods, these age-old sayings can be difficult to hear, and even more difficult to believe. I get it. I have been the one to say it … and the one to scream … all at different times.


But, what if it were true? What if everything really does happen for a reason? What if we lived from a perspective that every experience that we have in life is designed to be an opportunity for growth, expansion, awareness, and dare it be said … for Love?


Most of us have, at some point in our lives, been lucky enough to have had some rough patches; but, experiences that, when looked back upon, can be seen with appreciation. Others have lived through downright catastrophes – where there seems to be no good reason whatsoever. Broken hearts, financial ruin, abuse or even the death of a loved one can leave us with more questions than answers. The why’s of it all, no doubt, cause pain, sadness, anger, illness and depression. We all see these challenges differently. For some, the pain is so devastating that they can’t get out of bed; while others can take what happened, and turn that energy into motivation. Why such different responses in similar circumstances?

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Transforming Suffering Into Grace

When you look back at your own life, you see that with the suffering you went through, you would have avoided it each time if you possibly could, yet when you look at the depths of your character now, and the fact that you’re sitting here doing this work, you see it’s all a product of those experiences.

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The Freedom of Yes – Allowing Life to be Just as It Is

I often quote the psychologist Carl Rogers, who said, “It wasn’t until I accepted myself, just as I was, that I was free to change.” In other words, this acceptance — this recognizing what’s going on inside us and this deep unconditional tenderness — is the prerequisite to change.

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Where Does It Hurt? Healing the Wounds of Severed Belonging

I recently heard about a man who attempted to sneak his pet turtle onto a flight by placing it between two buns and wrapping it in a KFC wrapper. When he was discovered, he told the officials that he just couldn’t leave his beloved pet at home.

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Is It Time to Let Go of Being a Victim?

There comes a time in our lives where we make a decision. Sometimes it’s a conscious choice and sometimes it stems from an experience that we can no longer deny. Either way, we arrive at a point in our lives where we know or feel that it is time to move forward.

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My ego overpowered my intuitive understanding

This past week, I posted a inspiration from Lao Tzu. It said “ The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days.” Intuitive understanding. That's a huge concept to learn and apply to one's life and it jettisoned me back to the afternoon when I was kicked by a mule. How does one distinguish bravery and overcoming fear with intuitive understanding?

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A catastrophic bump in the road

As the needle pierced my skin, my eyes rolled back in my head with relief. Modern drugs are amazing. I knew the pain was still there but finally the intensity had subsided. Drunk on the drugs and drifting in and out of consciousness my body responded in relief. We had been at the hospital emergency for what felt like hours and up until this point, I had been refused any pain medication due to preeminent surgery. My husband rushed me to the hospital from our small town medical clinic when the doctor there was unable to find a pulse in my ankle – inferring I might loose my leg.

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The real Kicker

The looks I receive when someone asks how I was injured are actually quite comical. “Really? A mule kicked you?”. “Yes” I say, and “I am so grateful”. That's the real kicker – to be grateful for the mule, the injury and that Spring day in 2010, when my life took a HUGE turn. It's been one eye-opening journey and I would NEVER trade it in for anything.

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