Youth-ing Ourselves

From the perspective of “new-edge” science, the character of an individual’s aging is primarily a reflection of their subconscious beliefs and not their genetic history. As discussed in The Biology of Belief, the EEG activity of the brain through the first six years of life reveals that a child’s mind is primarily engaged in a hypnotic trance. Consequently, whatever the child experiences or learns during this critical period of development is directly downloaded into the sub- conscious mind.

These acquired developmental perceptions represent the fundamental beliefs that essentially control the biology of an individual for the rest of his or her life. This conclusion is supported by recent medical studies revealing that the propensity of experiencing a disease in adulthood is determined by environmental influences during the periconceptual, fetal, and infant stages of life.

 

One Go-to Mantra That Truly Works Wonders

Like many, I take my yoga practice off the mat. I study life in search of greater wisdom and truth. Some people show me what I need to work on and others set an example of where I would like to be in my personal development.


The store I currently work part-time for recently got a new manager. This lady started managing after a long line of her predecessors quit, due to the incredible amount of pressure the job put on them. Every time I work with her she seems to be in great spirits, always smiling and joking.


While I have a great number of skills that will help me to find inner peace, she seemed to have a much greater grasp on it. I often times wondered how she so easily maintained a positive mindset knowing how much work she was responsible for.


It was easy to understand why the others seemed constantly frazzled and stressed. The way this particular business is structured keeps everyone in the fear of losing their jobs and with that their livelihood.
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Why People Are Afraid to Truly Experience Inner Peace

Most people really like the concept of achieving inner peace. They enjoy imagining a life without as much stress and inner turmoil. When it comes right down to achieving this experience there are a few issues that get in the way.


True inner peace is not something you can conceptualize with your mind. Is not actually a mind process at all. To access and experience true inner peace you need to be able to drop out of thinking about anything. This is usually the part of the process where people get stuck.


Very simply put, people don't feel they can trust anything that they can't wrap their minds around. Unfortunately this includes inner peace. If there is a topic or an issue that someone feels they don't understand, they no longer feel in control of the situation. When they don't feel in control of the situation they don't feel safe.


When this happens there are usually two major issues involved. The first is that there's some sort of buildup of trauma that perpetually causes them not to feel safe outside of controlling the situation. This is probably the most common. In this case, it is possible to release the traumatic energetic blockages lying in a persons system using the technique of meditation. That is another article for another time.


The other possibility is that they are  caught up and narcissistic programming that will fundamentally stop them from doing anything they don't feel they're in control of. These cases are a little more rare.
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Turn Back the Clock with Positive Thinking

Age is only a number, but if you are empowering it with energy fueled by a negative belief system you are painting a dangerous reality that could deliver exactly what you are most afraid of.

When you think about the word “old,” what images come to mind? Infirmity? Senility? Incontinence? Wrinkles? Chronic illness? Hip replacement? Impotence?

Just a few months ago, when I crossed the threshold of 60, something suspect started happening. For the first time in my life, I started obsessing about myself in terms of my age. And I’m still not entirely clear as to whether I was using it as a badge of courage or an excuse for incompetence.

“I’m 60; I need to get to bed earlier.”

“I’m 60; my clothes don’t fit like they used to.”

“I’m 60, I can’t remember my kids’ names.”

“I’m 60, there’s no way I can drive in a big city.”

“I’m 60, I’m too stiff and sore to have sex.”

None of these issues arrived beautifully wrapped in gift boxes on July 22nd. But this negative self-talk sure did.

Negatively thinking about aging can…you guessed it…actually make you feel older. It can impact your mental perception, your health, your happiness and the way you look.

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Integrity in Crisis

Integrity is a word often invoked yet seldom defined.


If you look up its definitions you’ll find predominantly, “having strong moral principles”; the Cambridge Dictionary adds, “that you refuse to change”, worth noting.


It comes from the same Latin word as integrate – specifically, “make one.” This is making all the pieces fit together like cogs in a watch. (You have a digital watch? What way is “clockwise” for you?)


With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.” ---Zig Ziglar


The whole question goes directly to the heart of Character. The more you’re in integrity, the stronger your character. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., spoke of “the content of [your] character…” Indeed it does have content.

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What Are You Running Away From?

In my last blog post, I wrote about a situation which has been causing me a lot of heartache and how, despite all of the tools and wisdom that I have as a life coach and teacher of transformation, it has been hard for me to find a sustained sense of peace. I shared how after going to healers, therapists, and doing lots of deep work around my core wounds and projections, I was so grateful to read Debbie Ford’s new book Your Holiness: Discover the Light Within because it reminded me that when I feel cut off at the knees, I need to get down on my knees and ask to be shown. Bottom line, I needed some divine guidance to support me in finding resolution, relief, and a deeper understanding of self.

 

Days after working my way through the book and using prayer as a vehicle to connect and receive, I was running outside and heard the words, “Just be with the hurt.”

 

Stunned and amused, I stopped dead in my tracks. I realized that I had been literally running away from my hurt. In my fixation to figure out and fix my pain, I had avoided really feeling the deep hurt that was being triggered inside of me. I was trying to get to the destination without going on the journey. I’d been trying to bypass the feelings in my heart and resolve my pain in my mind, which, of course, was a strategy I developed long ago and even wrote about in The Integrity Advantage.

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How To Deal With The Death of a Loved One (video)

Losing a loved one is never easy.


On September 27, 2017, my dear mother made her transition from her body.


My mother was the purest soul I’ve met in this lifetime. She was unconditional love beyond human understanding. Her only desire was to serve and do God’s work in all ways.


I was so close to her my entire life, but strangely in her passing even more so. I feel her everywhere now. It’s once she left her body that I understood who she really was now that her loving was no longer limited to a human form.


In the year she knew she was dying, I once asked her if she was afraid. She simply looked at me with unwavering conviction and kindness and said, “Not at all. I am not this body. The soul lives forever. I am ready for whatever God wants for my life.”


In her last months, I realized my mother’s true greatness was in her depth of surrender to the Divine.


My favorite memory (I have so many) was simply holding her in my arms one day, my heart bursting with love, looking her in the eyes, and sharing what a profound privilege it was to incarnate in this lifetime as her son, to have had the opportunity to be loved by her and know a soul as beautiful as her.

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The Eternal Feminine Brings Wholeness

A genuine social upheaval has begun, its theme is the empowerment of women. Old attitudes that have resulted in many kinds of unfairness are being challenged. The long-suppressed outrage of sexual harassment has been exposed to the light of day. No one with a heart and a conscience can do anything but respond with encouragement. It’s about time.

Rising from a position of weakness to become stronger, turning old wounds into a source of healing—these are important changes in anyone’s life. The eternal feminine has been a running thread in human culture for thousands of years, but each generation has to reinterpret it, and at the moment, embedded in a secular society where daily demands and distractions are the rule, envisioning the eternal feminine requires going deeper into our self-awareness.

 


Everyone’s source is pure awareness, which has no gender. When pure awareness manifests into creation, gender isn’t in evidence, either. When you wake up from deep sleep and become aware of your existence, the experience has no labels. The issues of masculine and feminine enter in a social context, defined by your beliefs, attitudes, and mental conditioning. To be a woman is to be a creation of many factors, going far beyond the physiological.

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Take Heart

When you take heart, you're more able to deal with all types of challenges. 

What do you do when the bottom falls out?

The Practice:
Take Heart.

Why?

It takes heart to live in even ordinary times.

By "taking heart," I mean several related things:

  • Sensing your heart and chest
  • Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you
  • Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you from others; love flowing in and love flowing out
  • Being courageous, whole-hearted and strong-hearted—going forward wisely even when anxious, knowing your own truth and as you speak it


When you take heart, you're more able to deal with challenges like aging, illness, trauma, or conflicts with others. You're also more able to take advantage of opportunities with confidence and grit.

Additionally, it takes heart to live in, live with, and live beyond times that are really hard. Your personal hard time might be bad news about your health, the death of a parent, or betrayal by others. Or it could be related to changes in your country and world, and your concerns about their effects on others and yourself; I've written about the importance of finding and facing facts at the level of society (feel free to skip it if you don't want my take on politics).

There are so many examples of honorable people facing great difficulty with dignity, principle, and courage. They did it. We can, too.

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How to Lead a Successful Training Workshop

If you want to become a successful thought leader, author, speaker, or simply share your message with the world, you must understand how to lead a successful training workshop.

I am going to share with you my very own process – what we call The Canfield Training Methodology for leading amazing, transformational workshops.

These are the exact workshop plans that I use every time I speak, whether it is for an hour or a weeklong training seminar.

First, I want you to think like you were building a house...

When you build a house, you have to start with a blueprint. You don’t just keep your vision of what you are going to build in your head right? If you have ever built a house, you know that would be an expensive mistake. You think about all the details, the size, the number of rooms, the layout, the overall feel you want to create and so on.

You need to do this same thing when you are designing the content for your workshop.

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The Sacred Power of Musing

Did you know that you have a sacred relationship to the creative force within you? Even if you don’t consider yourself “creative” you are actually doing it all the time. You create emotional scenarios to experience, you reinforce patterns of the past, and dream your intentions into the fabric of reality whether you are aware of it or not.


You are the artist that stewards reality forward on behalf of the Great Artist- the Conscious Universe that is the primal Source of everything- visible and invisible. If you’ve ever felt the pull of inspiration or the call to make something new of yourself you are in a dance with that integral part of you.


Philosophers have waxed poetic about this relationship for eons. I think the Greeks had the best idea when they explored the creative impulse as a sacred relationship between us and the Muses – the daughters of Zeus and the goddess of memory- Mnemosyne. These minor goddesses were birthed to represent the spirit of the arts, science, and literature to help us forget the sadness and darkness in the world.

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How To Break Up With "Not Good Enough"

Have you ever had an epiphany that rocked your world?
One that made one of the most profound impacts ever?

I had one as I was doing my morning pages

Come to find out, what appeared on my journal pages was the essential piece needed to break up with "not good enough" once and for all.


THE JOURNAL ENTRY THAT CHANGED IT ALL


I figure it might be easier just to share my journal entry. That way I don't run the risk of some important piece getting lost in the translation. So here is what I wrote….
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I’ve Been Thinking…

The other day, I told my friend Elizabeth what I was thinking. She responded in the best way possible.

“You are,” she said, “right on time.”

Her words landed and made me feel grateful and joyful. Here I am exactly, where I’m supposed to be.

This week, my new book “I’ve Been Thinking… Reflections, Prayers and Meditations for a Meaningful LIfe” arrives in bookstores everywhere. Right on time. The fact that there’s a book at all is a testament to you, the readers of The Sunday Paper. Many of you suggested that I curate my “I’ve Been Thinking” columns and bind them together into a book. Voila, here it is!

This book couldn’t have come out last year or the year before. I wasn’t ready then. But, now I am. Thank you.

Today, I’m knee-deep in gratitude to those who have helped me, sustained me, and supported me along this journey we call life. I like where I am. As Hafiz says, I like that I am in a place that God circled on a map just for me.

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Our Children Are Our Change

For the past ten days I have been traveling outside of the United States. We had a packed itinerary and my intention was to disconnect and just be where I was with the person I was with. Halfway into my trip, the Parkland shooting occurred. Since these horrific acts of mass violence have unfortunately become part of our daily life, I realize that I've actually developed a pattern of how I digest these heartbreaking events. I tend to watch hour after hour of commentary, making sure I check in from the morning shows to Jimmy Kimmel Live’s opening monologue. Since Parkland is less than an hour drive from where I live and I know people who live there, I am sure that had I been home, I would have been that much more fixated on learning more. Being in Europe, I actually felt a bit guilty about not being more on top of the subject. Yet every time I entered a designer store in Paris, I was consistently struck by the lack of gun control and safety precautions in our schools. How was it that to enter a designer store my bag would be searched and in some cases an armed guard would stand at the door, but in most schools in the U.S., people can walk in carrying anything? 
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How can we positively embrace change in our future?

It’s interesting to observe your own reaction when change presents itself in life.


It may be economic change in your circumstances, it may be a change in the way you spend your life. A lot of people, as their children grow, have an opportunity to change their lives, but they have such strong habits in how they’ve always done things and who they’ve always been, that they get frightened at the freedom to change when an opportunity presents itself.

Up until now, they justified their existence by what their karma commitments are; “I have to be this way,” and I would say that doesn’t have to be the case. They don’t have to wait for their kids to grow up, because that waiting becomes their daily routine.

How much of who I was yesterday is defining who I am today? How much can I allow who I am today to be totally open and tuning and responding to the situation, which includes everything I was yesterday, but also all that I will be tomorrow?

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Start Your Day Off Right With The Hour of Power

The morning is the most important time of the day. If you spend an hour a day to do these three things you will be happier in life, healthier, and more motivated than you’ve ever felt.

I call this my hour of power. Every morning I wake up and I spend 60 minutes doing three things. They've helped contribute to a lot of my success.

So what is this Hour of Power exactly?

It’s a full hour that is broken up into three 20-minute sessions:

  • 20 minutes of exercise
  • 20 minutes of meditation
  • 20 minutes of reading (positive, uplifting material)


The benefits of doing just these 3 things are great.


The Benefits of the Hour of Power

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Time to Regroup and Dream

Life at the beginning of the New Year is such a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s like we’re split in two. There is one side of us which is aware that we’ve set intentions and made resolutions and we feel driven to get things done in order to prove to the world we’re going to change! We think to ourselves; life in this New Year is magical and filled with P*R*O*M*I*S*E ! Now is NOT the time to waste!


Then there’s this other inconvenient self that wants to curl up and rest and dream and perhaps not move so fast too soon. That part of us can seem lazy, and not at all in alignment with our highest intentions!


Or, is there wisdom in this self? Maybe we need to listen to this need to regroup and dream?


The tension between these two selves, two perspectives, creates a kind of guilt for some of us.  We start thinking that we better get off our butts and prove that we mean business! The treadmill calleth! We have dutifully thrown away the leftover holiday sweets and have begun a new and healthy plan.


Regrouping and dreaming can seem like a waste of time at the beginning of a new year when we put pressure on ourselves to perform miracles right out of the gate. The truth, however, is that taking time is exactly what we should be doing. Whether you are in the dead of winter like we are in the Northern Hemisphere or midsummer Down Under both these seasons ask us to stand still and contemplate what we’ve set in motion and refine our intentions slowly and honestly.

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How can we can stay open to both the suffering and the joy of life?

You and I are in training to be free. We’re in training to be so present, so spacious, so embracing, we’re in training to not look away, deny or close our hearts when we can’t bear something. The statement, “I can’t bear it,” is what burns you out in social action. When you’re in the presence of suffering and contracting, it’s the contraction that starves you to death.

When you close your heart down to protect yourself from suffering, you also close yourself off from being fed by that same life situation.

If you can stay open to both the suffering and the joys and the stuff of life, all of it, then it’s like a living spirit. It just connects to your living spirit and there’s a tremendous feeding going on.

Once you see all this, what else is there to do but keep working on becoming conscious? You’d be a fool not to. You’re only going to perpetuate your misery and suffering and everybody else’s if you don’t. I’ll give it one year, I’ll settle for two, for you to live on two planes of consciousness simultaneously. The other thing is to do it joyfully! When you meet somebody that’s suffering, what do you have to offer them? You could offer them your empathy. That’s a good thing to offer because they feel somebody else is listening to them. The other thing you can offer them is your joy, your presence, and your ‘not getting caught in it all.’

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Ram Dass Explores the Illusion of Time Passage and Aging

Now, when you get older one of the things that happens is the change of the meaning of time, in a whole raft of ways. First of all, time gets short before you get ready to leave your body, and that has a certain way of ‘making it all more significant.’ Not that this is the last picnic, but I mean you just start to feel it differently. There’s this agitation and there’s a whole chemical thing in it that makes you experience time as moving faster. When you’re a child spring is a big thing, and summer is ‘summer’ and then, I mean, you know, the feeling of each season is really present. Autumn is going back to school, at least it was in my day, and for adults, it runs a pace.


We seem not to have enough time for anything, and then we get older, the years go by very quickly, and that’s one dimension of time.


Then there’s another interesting dimension of time when you say to friends, “How old do you experience yourself being?” instead of, “How old are you chronologically?” or, “How old is your body,” it’s, “How old do you experience yourself being?”


There are different kinds of responses. People like me would say, “No age at all, I don’t experience myself as age.” Some people would say,” I have always felt like I was 14 years old. I’ve always felt like a little girl up in a tree.” I think for the first 35-40 years of my life, I felt like I was a precocious child. I was a child who was living in over my head. This may be alien to all of you but bare with me. It’s just my pathology. Then I began to feel like I had gotten through puberty. I was about 40 and I started to experience this change in my psychological age. There were a lot of things that occurred in those years, of course, and I got up to the point where I started to feel that I was just who I was. I mean, I was this age at that time, 50-55, and it felt fine and comfortable. Then I went deeper, and I started to feel no age.

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How to Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever

Regardless of how you ring in the New Year (with lively parties and fireworks or cozy celebrations at home), there is a recurring theme at every New Year’s celebration: to the make this year the best year ever.

“If you get clear on the what, the how will be taken care of.” - Jack Canfield


Here are a few things you can do to make 2018 your best year yet.


1. Review Last Year


First, take inventory of last year. By reviewing last year and all the ups and downs of 2017, we are provided with the map to moving forward into 2018. Reflecting deeply on last year can highlight your successes and – more importantly – the areas most in need of improvement.


Find a quiet room in your house and carve out a bit of meditation time. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions; the answers to the hardest of questions will only help you grow. Use a journal to collect your thoughts so that you can refer back to your answers.

  • What were the biggest accomplishments of 2017?
  • Why were those accomplishments meaningful for you? What did they signify?
  • Did you have any regrets? What were they?
  • What obstacles did you face?
  • What goals did you reach?
  • What goals did you not meet?
  • What are you not happy with in your life right now? This could be personal, professional, spiritual. Identify the areas that you want to improve, and be as specific as you can be.
  • And finally, what was the overall recurring theme of 2017?


By taking the time to review the events of the previous year, you not only have the opportunity to be grateful for all the good moments, but you also gain the knowledge of where and what to improve.


It is only when you know which areas truly need improving (and why), that you can work towards creating the best year ever.


Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever By Creating Your Extraordinary Life Plan.


2.  Try This Instead of Making New Year's Resolutions

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