How To Love Your Body (Video)

Your body is beautiful just because you have a body.

No other reason needed.

It is a living work of art. A masterpiece and magical expression of the Divine.

But how often do we really appreciate and love our bodies?

We have been conditioned and brainwashed by the media to believe that “You are not enough as you are”.

This is a lie.

This creates so much shame, judgment, non-acceptance of our naturalness. We end up hating our bodies, disconnecting from it’s innate intelligence, and comparing ourselves to others.

We base our self-worth on being the perfect shape, weight, or size.

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Giving Yourself and Others Room to Grow

There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

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What it Takes to Stay Married: Creating a Conscious Partnership

Are you one of those people who would rather be right than loved? Here’s the chance to choose differently.” –Jan Desai

I’m a statistic: twice divorced and almost ten years into my third marriage. If you’re a numbers person, the statistics are stacked against me.

In the U.S., fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce with 67 percent of second and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.

It appears that happily ever after really doesn’t exist.

But this time around I’m committed to something different. I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the bumpy roads of relationships and I wish to share my greatest discovery in ensuring that the statistics don’t get the best of me… or you!

It’s called conscious partnering.

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From Postpartum Depression to Mindful Self-Compassion

I have this memory from 1990 of feeling like my little baby and I were all alone in the universe. The love that I felt for him was heartbreaking. I could sit and watch him sleep for hours, waiting for his little cherub lip to quiver in his slumber. Everything else in my life felt too bright, too loud, too something… too raw. My body was a disaster, and my mind wasn’t too far behind. The only bright spot was the baby.

I had flashbacks of giving birth for months. It was terrifying and excruciating. They call it a precipitous delivery, when your cervix dilates from 4 to 10 centimeters in less than 10 minutes. His head was stuck behind my tailbone and they were pushing so hard on my back that it felt like it broke. The anesthesiologist wouldn’t give me an epidural because they didn’t have an IV running. She responded to my screams for drugs: “You’re not getting any drugs, honey; your baby is coming out now.” It felt like someone was cutting my body open with an axe and pulling out my organs — and that was a vaginal delivery!

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Don’t Give Up

The most important thing is to remember the most important thing.

The Practice: Don't Give Up.

Why?

Have you heard this saying?

The most important thing is to remember the most important thing.

What are the most important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular interaction with someone? Right this minute?

The most important things often get pushed to the sidelines. Urgent crowds out important. Modern life is full of distracting clamor, from text messages and emails to window displays in the mall. Other people tug at you with their priorities - which may not be your own. And it can feel scary to admit what really matters to you, tell others, and go after it for real: the fearful voices whisper in the back of the mind: What if you fail?

But if you don't make a sanctuary for what is important, it will get overrun by the bermuda grass of B and C priorities.

How?

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Enhance Your Life into perfect health

Stress can attack us at various levels, choosing to hassle us from various walks of life. Different aspects need handling differently, or we may say that stress relief will also come to us from many different directions.

There are so very many stress relief tools at our disposal, yet we need to understand our own inherent temperament and choose what suits us the best.

Stress is not only a mind game as we are taught to believe, but the body is equally involved. According to me ''Stress is actually an expression of our mind-body connection'' Whatever we think manifests itself as an expression through our body, in the form of illness or joyfulness. So in order to keep our mind-body connect in tandem and ourselves stress-free we need to find a simple strategy which will help us to Relax or de-stress our minds in such a way that we can reverse the body's stress response in order to avoid the negative effects of stress.
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Learning To Love Your Cellulite, Stomach, and Scars

I hope you are enjoying the beginning of summer. I am literally moving very slowly into summer since I had a procedure a few weeks ago that has curtailed my normal activity.

Several years ago, I had a pain in the area of my lower abdomen which was so acute that at times I could not sit up straight. After seeing several doctors, they determined I had a growth on my ovaries. At the time, they treated it with antibiotics and made the decision to monitor it regularly. Since the mass continued to grow, this past February my gynecologist suggested I consult with a specialist. Not thinking anything of it, I scheduled the appointment in between my workout and work day. I figured the most the doctor would tell me was that I needed to have the growth removed, which, in my mind, would be a quick outpatient procedure.

Determined not to miss a beat in my day, I arrived at the specialist’s office juggling my iPhone and iPad. Now, I must admit that I was a bit taken aback when I found out that the doctor I was seeing was a gynecologic oncologist, located in the new “Cancer Institute” building of the hospital. However, I shook it off and kept my eye on the prize which was trying to get in and out in under two hours.

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How can we be more gentle with ourselves on the spiritual path?

Question: “A lot of us are putting a lot of effort into being more fully present and to being ‘here now’ and we head towards the fire, and in the process, I know for myself, I lose my sense of humor, and I wonder if you could talk about ways of taking care of ourselves in the process?”

Ram Dass: See, if I were in a more Zen state, I’d say, “Take care of whom?” or, “Which self do you want to take care of?” I’d just take it obliquely right out of that question, because that is psychological, it’s like, here is this little self trying to do good and get enlightened, poor thing, it should take a vacation, it should go to Hawaii and maybe surf a little, you know?

Don’t do it too heavy, because that fire is hot. Like, I should say nice things and make you feel comfortable, but another part of me just says, “Go deeper into the fire if you really want to take care of yourself – burn baby, burn.”

I’m showing you the different levels of the way this whole discourse could be going. I’ll tell you, from where I’m at in this place, I’ll say that in Buddhist tradition it is thought that because a human birth is so precious and so rare that you should not waste a moment, and you should work just as hard as you can and make real effort, and not let a moment go by.

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Eating Addiction: How Meditation Helps Free Us (audio)

Buddhist psychology views clinging as the source of suffering, and one of the great domains of clinging is compulsive overeating. For most of us the causes and conditions for compulsive overeating existed before we were born, during our early childhood, and in our surrounding society. We begin to release shame and self-aversion by realizing we are not alone in this suffering; and eating addiction is not “our fault.” The talk includes an exploration of how, through RAIN, we can bring mindfulness and self-compassion to compulsive eating, giving us more choice in our behavior. Ultimately we discover that this deep prison of suffering can become a portal to realizing the freedom our true nature.

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Do You Get Stuck in Judgment and Comparison?

Do you get stuck in judgment … of yourself or others? Do you compare yourself with others? Do you judge where you think you “should” be now in your life? How might these thoughts hold you back from truly living in this present moment? This moment is all you have, right here right now. Why would you waste it on judgment or fear-based thoughts? When you recognize you have been living in the past or the fearful future or focusing on others … you will see that you are missing THIS moment. Judgment and comparison comes from fear or a lack mentality.


I would invite you to become aware of how you feel physically when you get into those thoughts. The way that you feel is expressing itself in your physical body for a reason. Your body is telling you that this is not in alignment with your truth … that these feelings of lack, these feelings of doubt, of fear, of anger, toward the past, towards the future, towards yourself … that these feelings are not only not raising your vibration but are holding you back from seeing the beauty within you, and the amazing life around you. These negative thoughts and feelings are not in alignment with who you truly are, and your body is giving you that gift of awareness. So, instead of doing what you’ve done in the past, whether its staying stuck in the judgment, pushing your emotions down, ignoring your feelings, or denying them … you can instead see it as an opportunity to look at it, change your thoughts and take some steps to start to heal it.

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3 Tips For More Self-Love

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about this concept of unconditional love for both ourselves and others. Defined by many as “affection without limitations or love without conditions,” I sometimes question whether unconditional love in its purest form is attainable and sustainable.

When it comes to unconditional love for others, many say that although there may be times when they don’t like or are upset with the people they love, underneath whatever might be going on in the moment, they do always love them.

However, when it comes to unconditional love for ourselves, after working with thousands of people, it is clear that our love for ourselves is very much conditional. Why? Because we have lost sight of who we are. And as I write in The Integrity Advantage

To love ourselves, we need to know ourselves.

The problem is that most people know themselves in a distorted or limiting way. Our sense of self has been largely formulated by the projections and programming of others. We take on what other people think of and say about us, even if the other person doesn’t have any idea who we are. We also take on the projections of others without questioning whether that person is seeing themselves or us. As Anais Nin said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Our sense of self is also slanted by our limited view of ourselves. Most of us are walking around constantly beating ourselves up and berating ourselves. When it comes to ourselves, we are constantly judging and fixating on our flaws and what needs fixing. We see only pieces of ourselves and focus on what we are not instead of realizing all that we are. We forget that we are born whole and complete and that wholeness is our birthright. It is not and cannot be taken away. It is the integrity of who we are and it is inside of us. It’s just that events happen that cause us to create negative interpretations and limiting beliefs about the essence of who we are. As a result of these situations, we cease from knowing ourselves.  We cease seeing our true selves and, as a result, our view of and love for ourselves becomes compromised.

But the good news is that it is never too late to get to know yourself and take on self-love. Here are 3 tips to support you on this journey.

 

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Why Self Love is Key to Developing Your Intuition

LEARN HOW WITH THESE THREE SIMPLE STEPS

Are you sometimes really hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to dwell on your weaknesses or mistakes instead of what you’re proud or happy about? Are you sometimes easily defeated by setbacks or criticism? Have you ever felt like you can’t openly ask for what you need? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time for a self-esteem tune up!

Practicing self love is integral to enhancing your intuition. When you feel good about yourself, your intuitive filters are clear and you’re fully connected to the Divine. You’re able to cast your net into the world around you and thus move forward on your highest path. Conversely, when you don’t approve of yourself, your Goblin ego takes over and whispers more harsh and judging thoughts. Lack of self-esteem keeps you separated from the world around you and disconnected to your intuition. The more you disapprove of yourself, the more you end up stuck in a prison of your own making. And, you don’t want that!

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How To Deal With Other People’s Negative Opinions (Video)

You have no control of what other people think about you.

The only control that you have is over yourself, and how you respond.

You responsibility is not to make others happy but to be yourself fully.

People’s opinions of you reflect more about themselves than about you. So don’t take it personally. Just because they judge you a certain way, or have a negative opinion of you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

It’s just their opinion. It’s their perception, and perception is not reality.




Our perception is a projection based on our current level of consciousness which is determined by our conditioning and experiences.

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2018: My Conscious Call to Self-Love

The ball descends, the wild bells ring out and the minute hand moves to 12. This is the moment when we choose to celebrate renewal, rebirth and rejuvenation. In this moment, we are hopeful. We reflect. We have resolve. And then, for too many of us, the moment fades and along with it the hope and resolve for lasting change.

Like you, with the stroke of midnight, as another year slipped away, the limitless potential of a new beginning rose before me. Yet, as I recognized that potential, I also knew that I had a choice. I could choose to let that limitless potential fade, to let this moment slip by, or I could chose to strengthen my resolve to embrace myself with love.

Easy choice, right? Of course. Yet, why did it feel so damn difficult?

All changes are difficult, especially positive ones because it means that we have to give up some of the dark stuff that gives us false comfort. Without that false comfort, we have to start committing to building real, long-term comfort. And that’s where it gets scary. I can do this now, but how in the hell am I going to do this next week, next month or for an entire year?

So rather than getting lost in an overwhelming future, let’s instead focus on this moment only. Positive change in the long haul is the ultimate goal, but you only get there with a series of daily steps. I realized that all I had to do was make a commitment to love myself TODAY. And with the precious gift of one more day on this earth, I choose to be an awakened custodian of all that I am consciously calling in.

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Is Self Love A Prerequisite To Soulmate Love?

Self-love seems to be the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths that until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you.  Can this really be true?


My experience has been that most women (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their heads that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”


And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love?


Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?


I don’t think so
.

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How Do You Learn to Love Yourself?

It is a question I am asked all of the time.


HOW?????


When I think back to how I began the process of learning to love myself, it was 10 steps. When I was 19 years old, I read a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. You know Louise Hay, right? She is one of the most incredible teachers of Self-Love there has ever been. She left this world on August 30th of this year, at the perfect age of 90. She truly was a teacher of absolute unconditional SELF-LOVE. I do the work I do because of this woman’s words, strung together in that amazing book, that I read back in 1990.

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How to Raise Your Self-Esteem in Two Steps

It is my personal opinion that most people are unnecessarily insecure. These insecurities can hold people back from being truly happy, and living life to the fullest. Where do these insecurities come from? How can we become more confident?


The need for the approval of others is one of our first learned behaviors. As we started life, many of us learned that we received our parents love when we did things that pleased them. We were met with negativity, or not as much love, when we did things that upset them. Our parents were the gods of our universe at that time, and their love was not only desired instinctually, but was necessary for our survival.

As we move out into the world as individuals, we still feel that the acceptance and praise of others keeps us validated, and defines us as meaningful contributors to society. So this means that a large motivator for doing anything is the expectation of positive feedback from someone else.


When we receive praise, we allow it to lift us up, and we feel good about what we have done. A negative reaction from someone, can make us feel bad, and can even make us question our validity.


People's responses to outside stimulus are based mostly on unconscious neurological brain patterns. In other words, positive or negative judgments are not based on any valid truth. We have low self-esteem because we’ve allowed this to define us as people.

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A Gateway to a New Expression: Self Love….

I have always been under the belief that “self love” is selfish…this is not true!   I was brought up in a family of 7 which included my parents and I tended to the younger siblings quite often as my Mom always did for everyone else but not herself.  I am sure this contributed to my belief system  of putting  yourself first is selfish.  I also was under the influence of the church that it was better to give than receive and I felt quilty when I did receive.  Most of my life I would seemingly  put other peoples needs before mine.  I  believe the resentment I have felt was because I didn’t nurture myself, but I was an expert at nurturing others.  After all it is much easier to tend to others than yourself!

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Louise Hay’s Mirror Work for more LOVE

It’s hard to imagine a world without Louise Hay in it…she transitioned last week on August 30th – exactly two years after her longtime friend Wayne Dyer passed.

 

For decades, I have admired Louise and looked up to her as my icon for spiritual growth, and aging gracefully and powerfully.

 

I loved her fierce courageousness, her willingness to do and say the right thing with the causes that called to her, and her brilliance, personal style and joie de vivre always inspired me.

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Turning Cranky into Happy

I am not sure if it’s the eclipse energy from last week, or the constantly bad news on TV, or Mercury Retrograde, or what, but I have been feeling a bit cranky lately.

 

So, I have been digging deep into my spiritual tool-kit.

 

This morning, I added extra lavender to my bath, while doing rounds of  EFT tapping on “I’m cranky and I totally and completely love myself.”

 

On the way to the grocery store, I listened to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, which was uplifting, and I spent a long time cuddling on the back deck with my cat Max.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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