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How Do You Learn to Love Yourself?

It is a question I am asked all of the time.


HOW?????


When I think back to how I began the process of learning to love myself, it was 10 steps. When I was 19 years old, I read a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. You know Louise Hay, right? She is one of the most incredible teachers of Self-Love there has ever been. She left this world on August 30th of this year, at the perfect age of 90. She truly was a teacher of absolute unconditional SELF-LOVE. I do the work I do because of this woman’s words, strung together in that amazing book, that I read back in 1990.

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How to Raise Your Self-Esteem in Two Steps

It is my personal opinion that most people are unnecessarily insecure. These insecurities can hold people back from being truly happy, and living life to the fullest. Where do these insecurities come from? How can we become more confident?


The need for the approval of others is one of our first learned behaviors. As we started life, many of us learned that we received our parents love when we did things that pleased them. We were met with negativity, or not as much love, when we did things that upset them. Our parents were the gods of our universe at that time, and their love was not only desired instinctually, but was necessary for our survival.

As we move out into the world as individuals, we still feel that the acceptance and praise of others keeps us validated, and defines us as meaningful contributors to society. So this means that a large motivator for doing anything is the expectation of positive feedback from someone else.


When we receive praise, we allow it to lift us up, and we feel good about what we have done. A negative reaction from someone, can make us feel bad, and can even make us question our validity.


People's responses to outside stimulus are based mostly on unconscious neurological brain patterns. In other words, positive or negative judgments are not based on any valid truth. We have low self-esteem because we’ve allowed this to define us as people.

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A Gateway to a New Expression: Self Love….

I have always been under the belief that “self love” is selfish…this is not true!   I was brought up in a family of 7 which included my parents and I tended to the younger siblings quite often as my Mom always did for everyone else but not herself.  I am sure this contributed to my belief system  of putting  yourself first is selfish.  I also was under the influence of the church that it was better to give than receive and I felt quilty when I did receive.  Most of my life I would seemingly  put other peoples needs before mine.  I  believe the resentment I have felt was because I didn’t nurture myself, but I was an expert at nurturing others.  After all it is much easier to tend to others than yourself!

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Louise Hay’s Mirror Work for more LOVE

It’s hard to imagine a world without Louise Hay in it…she transitioned last week on August 30th – exactly two years after her longtime friend Wayne Dyer passed.

 

For decades, I have admired Louise and looked up to her as my icon for spiritual growth, and aging gracefully and powerfully.

 

I loved her fierce courageousness, her willingness to do and say the right thing with the causes that called to her, and her brilliance, personal style and joie de vivre always inspired me.

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Turning Cranky into Happy

I am not sure if it’s the eclipse energy from last week, or the constantly bad news on TV, or Mercury Retrograde, or what, but I have been feeling a bit cranky lately.

 

So, I have been digging deep into my spiritual tool-kit.

 

This morning, I added extra lavender to my bath, while doing rounds of  EFT tapping on “I’m cranky and I totally and completely love myself.”

 

On the way to the grocery store, I listened to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, which was uplifting, and I spent a long time cuddling on the back deck with my cat Max.

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Total Eclipse

Every eclipse of the sun represents symbolically the activation of a frightened part of your personality. While that part is active, it obstructs the experience of your love, which is represented symbolically by the sun. Yet in the midst of that obstruction there is a great deal of power and beauty that is visible physically in a total eclipse of the sun.

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How To Deal With Difficult Parents

You have the perfect parents for your soul’s growth and evolution in this lifetime.

Your parents may not be perfect human beings, as they too are souls on this journey of life and are here to learn lessons like you.

Relationships with parents can be some of the most challenging and difficult to navigate.


Ask yourself: What are the lessons that your soul is seeking to learn with them?

They give birth to you, raise you, and impact so much of who you become.

They simply did the best that they knew how to do at that time of their lives, even though it may not have been what you wanted.

It’s highly unlikely they woke up each day thinking about how they could cause you the most suffering. Likely they were in pain themselves.

Hurt people tend to HURT other people, and the cycle continues.

You can break the cycle and take your power back.

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How to Shift the Patterns of Inferiority For Ourselves and Others

The moment we become aware of the darker workings of the ego and realize that we exist outside of it, we become conscious. This begins the process of recreating our reality and life experience.

 

I, like so many others had developed an inferiority complex due to the misjudgments and misconception my mind had formed around certain experiences of abuse. Once the belief had formed in the back of my mind that I was worthless and unimportant, it started to project it onto other people as a way to reinforce it. Subconsciously they would be prompted to validate these misconceptions. In some cases it just seemed that way.

 

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5 Ways to Embrace Your Body and Love the Skin YOU’RE In

It’s that time of year. A time when you think about your body… and wish it were different. Or … maybe it is always that time of year for you.

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How do we move past feelings of inadequacy when it comes to loving ourselves and others?

The term “love” is used by many people. Most of the time when they use the term love, they are talking about romantic love. They are talking about love that is fused with need, and if you look at the process of falling in love, it’s an interesting process.


You have a heart that is love, but it’s closed to you by your own mind. So you’re like a hungry ghost, looking all the time.


Then you meet somebody, and they have a key that fits in a lock that opens you to your own heart, and you think, “I am in love.”

 

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Manifesting Abundance Is Easy

You would probably like to become better at manifesting abundance.But instead of trying to draw it to you, let’s take a different approach: allowing it by being happy and grateful. Yes, this kind of sounds too good to be true, but in a moment you’ll see why it’s so effective.Are you happy, right now, with what is?Probably not, right?

Most likely you are focused on your problems – including lack of abundance. Happiness is what allows abundance in, so let’s work on quickly creating that happy state of mind.First, choose to be happy with the abundance you already have (which is more than you think). How can you do this? By feeling gratitude and appreciation. Be grateful and appreciative of everything in your life, especially the struggles and difficult people – they are your greatest teachers.

Without the hardships, the luxuries would be meaningless. Without the lows, the highs would not be as exquisite. So appreciate what you’ve experienced so far. That’s the first step to happiness.

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Choosing “Different”

Life at its most fulfilling and expansive is not about fitting in or aspiring to socially promoted goals like a 24/7 career, with accompanying big money, house, car, and investments. It’s also not about finding one “perfect” soul mate and living happily ever after. That’s the Cinderella story they keep trying to get women to buy into so that we forget that who we really are is Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman who has her own unique, independent soul and doesn’t need anyone to make her life perfect. This applies to men looking for one mate to fulfill them too. We are not half-humans searching for the missing part to make us whole. Nor are we necessarily one gender, one expression, one role, or one anything. We are so much more.

 

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How To Stop Being Over Responsible For Others

Everyone has their own unique soul’s journey.

You may not understand it and you may not agree with it.

It doesn’t really matter. It’s their soul’s journey.

Perhaps you love and care for your child, grandchild, spouse, friend so much that you don’t want them to suffer in any way. And so you end up doing too much to help them.

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I LOVED my kids… BUT being A Mom Wasn’t Enough

When I first had children, they were my whole world … literally …

MY

WHOLE

WORLD

My life revolved around being a mother. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, but man, as my son got older, it got tougher. I was worn out from the daily battles … but, I was a “good mom“.

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What I Wish I’d Known Back Then… A Letter to My Younger Self

Once in awhile I run across a blog or essay that really causes me to stop and really breathe it in. Reading a good message can cause a shift in me, ignite a eureka, or cause a deep resounding “yes”, perhaps moving me to tears or giving me courage that day to make a change I didn’t know I had to make intellectually, but at the level of the heart, I did. With all the uncertainty in the world it’s wonderful so many people are sharing their thoughts and hopes. Blogging can be a way of keeping conversations alive and bringing people together.

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Don’t Give Up: 5 Ways to Overcome A Broken Heart

There’s nothing more dangerous than a closed heart, and let’s face it we’ve all been there. 


When the love of our life says they’ve found someone new, we don’t book our dream job, and everyone looks so happy on Facebook, it’s easy to fall into that trap of shutting down and giving up. 


How to Bring Love to the Pain Body

I have resisted “what is” all of my life thinking what I had experienced was bad or “ugly”.  This only created shame, doubt, guilt and pain.  Until one day I woke up and realized everything I had been resisting was a message or my guidance.  One would never think guidance would come in this form.  I was keeping self love at a distance wishing it would  go away.

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Reconsidering Our Bodies in Love

"Don’t touch me there," she said. "I haven’t shaved."

I didn’t care a bit if she had shaved – I just wanted to touch her.

"Don’t look down there," she said. "It’s ugly."

I wanted to spend hours gazing at the magnificence that was her, that was "down there."

"Don’t tell me I’m beautiful," she said. "I know I’m fat."

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Be a pleasure puppy this summer

Our cat Yoda is nicknamed “the pleasure pig.” Yoda demands massive amounts of attention, belly rubs, cheek scratches, and snacks we called “Yoda’s Crack.” The other day, I was watching Brian give Yoda his yoga stretching massage and was silently wishing that I was as good at demanding pleasure as Yoda is!


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How To Let The Past Go

What do you need to let go of from your past that no longer serves you?

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