As someone who has written 12 books, had a big career as a book publicist and a literary agent, I’ve been deep in the publishing world for most of my life.
Yesterday I was talking an old friend who was interviewing me for an article she is writing for a major publication about becoming an author in your later years, and I had an epiphany:
The word author-ity is an interesting word.
Some people are the authors of their own lives, they live, they laugh, they learn. They tell a story that includes all factors of their life; the joy and the pain, the triumph and the tragedy.While others are authors of ity-bity stuff and they can’t seem to get out of the rut.
It is so comforting when we start to see how we have become wiser because of the hard work or the determination that we have put forth to improve ourselves. Wisdom is an attribute that we seem to appreciate more because of trial and error or through life experience and challenge. Standing up for who you are is empowering, yet it remains uncommon because most people are followers and do not want to be criticized for being different. In the word en-COURAGE-ment is the word COURAGE..it takes a true dedication to speak up for what you feel and honor your feelings.
Let all the lessons you have endured in your life give you the right to BE.
When we rush, we are not at peace. We don't see the world as it is; we only see whatever it is that doesn’t line up with what we have determined is “the way things ought to be.” Instead of being an inwardly centered person, our full attention is outwardly directed.
Such an anxious state could not exist without our false belief that who we are, our well-being, is connected to something happening exterior to ourselves. This mistaken idea is driving us, compelling us to get the situation resolved, the person fixed right now, because then we will be back in a peaceful place.
If we are truthful about our life experience though, it is obvious that as long as we believe we have something to lose because of our identification with any temporary exterior condition or circumstance, we remain subject to every outer condition.
Our life experience can be easier then many of us imagine. Much of humanity has chosen to believe, even embrace, stories of pain and grief instead of love and joy. This is a betrayal of our true compassionate nature. I’m going to share the easiest way to transform relationships into a loving piece of your story.
Recently I was enjoying conversation with a Vedic astrologer from India. I asked him about possible challenges leaving his home country and family. San Jay shared he focuses only on how he feels now. He is able to speak with his family by phone and walks by their side energetically. He has removed the past challenge from the possibilities in his life and enjoys his everyday experience that includes an energetic closeness with his family.
In my own life I decided to reconnect with my brother that died of suicide years ago. I needed to let go of the grief and confusion I held in my heart and mind. I had been holding onto my brother’s life story, not reaching for his soul’s energy. I touched the uncomfortable and complicated thoughts and called his spirit to me. I did this in several meditations.
Writing my most recent book Healing Trauma with Yoga forced me to get stuck and unstuck. A project that has not only consumed a lot of time, but obviously forced me to deal with a lot of my own issues around my own personal life experience and trauma. We all have ways that we distract ourselves, some healthier than others. Even with awareness, we can still participate in unhealthy behaviors. Here are some of the things I do to get unstuck that might also help you.
A long walk with my dog or a trip to the dog park to just enjoy dog joy. There is an unbridled joy that animals bring. They exist in the now, don’t get distracted by social media, and are very present and alert. The act of caring for a pet that gives unconditional love will bring immense joy (especially if you rescued the animal). I love walking with Bentley and taking him to play as it forces me to be present.
The moment we become aware of the darker workings of the ego and realize that we exist outside of it, we become conscious. This begins the process of recreating our reality and life experience.
I, like so many others had developed an inferiority complex due to the misjudgments and misconception my mind had formed around certain experiences of abuse. Once the belief had formed in the back of my mind that I was worthless and unimportant, it started to project it onto other people as a way to reinforce it. Subconsciously they would be prompted to validate these misconceptions. In some cases it just seemed that way.
