Your body is beautiful just because you have a body.
No other reason needed.
It is a living work of art. A masterpiece and magical expression of the Divine.
But how often do we really appreciate and love our bodies?
We have been conditioned and brainwashed by the media to believe that “You are not enough as you are”.
This is a lie.
Heather asked the following question:
“My boyfriend and I are on a two-month break, and during this time I realized that I have been trying to fix my boyfriend so that he would be the loving adult to me. I have been abandoning myself for five years, first by not taking loving care of myself when a substance addiction was revealed, then by pushing him to go to an addiction therapist and a 12-step program, and now Inner Bonding. All so I could control his indulgent behavior and get the love I need from him. I’m trying to decide if I should stay or leave. My inner conversations are not yet kind and compassionate towards myself and I am not feeling very supported. I just keep hearing a harsh voice telling me to leave. How to I decide what’s loving to me?”
Since Heather has been abandoning herself, she can’t know the answer to whether she should stay or leave until she has practiced Inner Bonding long enough to develop her loving adult self.
It’s time. Please stop hiding your love under a bushel or a credit card statement. Do not apologize for believing in greater things—for yourself and for the state of our planet. It’s time to stop treating your quest for self-realization like a crumb of lint on your jacket, brushing your truth away. I am asking you to stop listening to the noise of the media or your relatives. What does your heart whisper? What does this uncanny prophet know?
Here’s what I know: You’ve been chosen, marked, assigned. We all have. We are here to discover our light, a capacity within us that turns every “problem” into a portal of freedom.
“Yesterday a child came out to wander…”
—Joni Mitchell, “Circle Game”
Last month, a friend I’ve known most of my life passed away after a recurrence of cancer. It was not entirely unexpected, but it happened suddenly and was deeply shocking. I thought she would always be there—an unspoken assumption many of us probably have about close friends or family. We never imagine that they won’t be in our lives. Yet she was gone. And even the most profound spiritual beliefs about life after death cannot entirely prevent the initial heart pain of losing someone you love.
Twenty-three years ago, on June 22, I married my soulmate, Brian, in a beautiful, magical Hindu ceremony officiated by the hugging saint, Amma.
What I didn’t know on that auspicious day could fill a book!
Leading up to the wedding, I had never given any thought as to what kind of wife and partner I would be to him.
Having written and manifested my extensive “soulmate wish list,” I had high expectations of what was in it for me, but never really thought about what was in it for him.
Early on in our marriage I made a horrifying discovery about myself: I had no partnership skills!
Having run a business for many years, I knew how to be the “boss” but was clueless about how to be a great partner.
Fortunately, Brian spent a good part of his life playing team sports and working in collaborative business partnerships. He modeled how to “play well with others.”
Over the years I’ve learned from him and became better at surfing the relationship waves.
One of the things I loved doing as a child was making creative things for my parents. I would spend hours designing and building wonderful cards with little poems in them, and make special pieces of jewelry for my mother. The only problem was that, while my mother would receive her gift graciously, she never received it with her heart. She would smile and tell me how lovely it was, but I never felt her love coming back to me. My mother did not know how to open her heart, how to smile at me with love and cherishing in her eyes. My father would never even notice his gift.
I wanted to connect with my parents, to share love with them, to know their hearts, but their hearts were hidden. Sadly, my mother died at the age of 86 without ever being able to share her heart with me. My father died at 92 and his heart was always closed.
Your children need to feel your heart and soul. They need you to take the time to stop what you are doing and just be with them. They need you to really see them – to see who they are beneath their outward ways of being.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to see their essence, their true Self, the individual expression of Spirit within them. When children are deeply seen and valued by their parents, they learn to see and value themselves. All children need this profound mirroring from their parents to feel intrinsically lovable and worthy.
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be truly free of your past? To accept and love yourself fully and not see your life through the lens of your baggage?
This is the liberation that’s possible with radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance means taking life on life’s terms. Surrendering to what it is without judgment – the good and the bad – and taking responsibility for the parts we need to work on. When you look at yourself and your life with this kind of honesty, you’ll experience true freedom and you’ll find the path to self-acceptance and deep self-love.
You may have never heard of the term “imposter syndrome” before, but chances are, you or someone you know has suffered or is currently suffering from this debilitating psychological phenomenon.
According to a recent study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, about 70% of all people will experience symptoms of imposter syndrome at some point in their lives.
Seeking more love in your life?
A fast, easy way to make it happen is to put your attention on all the love that is already around you (family, friends, pets, etc.) and then actively engage in making love happen and spread by creating a “ripple effect.”
Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives and the choices we make have far-reaching consequences. Like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry, the Ripple Effect, creates connections that we are all a part of. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.
I find it interesting that when this quote first came to me a few years ago I thought of it relative to organizations, communities, societies or families. As time went on, I realized this statement is most significant when it comes to my life experiences as a gay person.
United I stand, divided I am merely a distraction.
I was divided as a teenager when I realized that I was much more drawn to women rather than men. I had feelings for a young woman a little older than me yet the church said I was going to hell. My grandmother actually mourned when I was almost 14 that she would not see me in heaven. Here I was without even a driver’s permit and my grandmother is telling her former favorite granddaughter that she would not see me in heaven. A part of me died a little and felt divided.
The deeper truth of the matter was when I was 10 years old, my mother was accused of having an affair. We lived in a small southern town and to this day, I still do not know if it was true or an accusation. What is true is in the 60’s the South was just like they featured in the famous film ‘Prince of Tides’. We put things under a rug and don’t look back. We don’t talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable. We medicated before we meditated. We have so many untold secrets and some of the secrets keep us up at night. When this accusation happened involving my mom, I was sent up North to be with family and my mom was sent to a mental hospital and was gone for a long time. They used those barbaric shock treatments on her and she was never the same. She returned with very little of her memory in place and has experienced physical difficulties due to those methods. We never spoke of these events again. I certainly tried to but no one would engage.
Our life experience can be easier then many of us imagine. Much of humanity has chosen to believe, even embrace, stories of pain and grief instead of love and joy. This is a betrayal of our true compassionate nature. I’m going to share the easiest way to transform relationships into a loving piece of your story.
Recently I was enjoying conversation with a Vedic astrologer from India. I asked him about possible challenges leaving his home country and family. San Jay shared he focuses only on how he feels now. He is able to speak with his family by phone and walks by their side energetically. He has removed the past challenge from the possibilities in his life and enjoys his everyday experience that includes an energetic closeness with his family.
In my own life I decided to reconnect with my brother that died of suicide years ago. I needed to let go of the grief and confusion I held in my heart and mind. I had been holding onto my brother’s life story, not reaching for his soul’s energy. I touched the uncomfortable and complicated thoughts and called his spirit to me. I did this in several meditations.
It has been a long road through this pandemic reality, and even with some very promising corners turned, we are not through it yet. Many parents have been navigating these strange days simply by doing all they can to keep their children’s lives on track — even if that means neglecting their own well-being. If that sounds familiar, this article is for you. Your wellness matters, and putting yourself last all the time isn’t ultimately doing anyone any favors.
We all want our kids to be happy. We want them to thrive, and we want to protect them from undue strife or struggle any way we can. But here’s the thing: If we all lived by that saying, “You’re only as happy as your least happy child,” we’d doom ourselves to a lifetime of limited joy. Until we take our happiness into our own hands and unhook it from our kids, we won’t experience the grounded sense of peace and joyfulness we crave with any consistency.
4 Ways to Set Your Happiness Free with Mindfulness
Many people believe that if they just decide to forgive someone, they have actually forgiven them, only to discover anger or resentment emerging over and over. So how to forgive?
Alyce wrote me the following question:
“Dr. Paul, How do I sincerely forgive my soon-to-be ex-husband of 32 years for infidelity committed prior to him even asking me for a divorce? I feel angry, hurt and jealous that he would give another woman the affection that he denied me. I know I must forgive him in order for me to heal and move on, but how to forgive?”
Have you ever wondered why we humans seek a soulmate?
What is it about us that craves this deep connection to another?
Where does our yearning come from?
Are we genetically designed to be mated?
One fascinating and possible answer comes from Aristophanes, the acclaimed playwright and philosopher of ancient Athens.
He offers a wild tale that he shared at Plato’s Symposium about how the deep desire for Oneness came about.
Long, long ago in primal times people had doubled bodies: four arms, four legs, two heads and they were big and round….
These roly-poly creatures wheeled around earth like clowns doing cartwheels & were very powerful.
There were three sexes: the all-male, the all-female, and those who were half male, half female.
A couple of years ago, I did a story for TODAY on author Lisa Taddeo and her best-selling book Three Women. The book was an instant best-seller and launched a nationwide conversation about women and desire. In fact, it’s fair to say that it blew the lid off a topic that was once taboo.
Now Lisa is back with a new book called Animal. This time she is writing about another taboo subject: women and anger. I, for one, couldn’t be happier to be jumping into this conversation because it’s one that needs to be had! That’s right. Women and anger deserve their own conversation, and we need permission to have it out in the open without fear of judgment or outrage.
Just like women want and need to talk about desire, we also want and need to talk about anger (or at least I do). I don’t say that just because there is a lot to be angry about these days (an assault on voting rights, a continued debate on who gets to decide what we can or cannot do with women’s bodies, gun reform, and a lack of support for child care, elder care, and family leave—to name a few). There is a lot to be angry about that’s never really been spoken about: a woman’s role in the church, women’s fight for equal pay, and the status (or lack thereof) of women around the world.
What do you need?
The Practice:
Kindness to you is kindness to me; kindness to me is kindness to you.
Why?
I usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it’s something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain.
Some years ago, I was invited to give a keynote at a conference with the largest audience I’d ever faced. It was a big step up for me. Legendary psychologists were giving the other talks, and I feared I wouldn’t measure up. I was nervous. Real nervous.
I sat in the back waiting my turn, worrying about how people would see me. I thought about how to look impressive and get approval. My mind fixed on me, me, me. I was miserable.
Through all the tyranny and injustice which plague the earth on this day and in these times, one Thing, one Fact, one Truth remains and that is: There Is Only One Reality, The Original Creation of the Divine Mother’s Love in full manifestation and expression on this Earth and on all Earths and Star Systems throughout Eternia.
Love is, was and Will Always Be the only true and absolute Ruler of this Earth, as Love is the creator of Earth and the Ruler Of All Creation by Divine Edict. Love is the Infinite wanting to Gift us Life. Love Is and will always be, the only, the ALL, the ONE.
The Master told us, “The meek shall inherit the earth.” His promise is a statement of fact now being realized by those with eyes to see. Through the rubble and clouds of misinformation and intentional trickery, the Divine Light of God’s Eternal Truth, emerges triumphantly, shines brightly, and speaks loudly in the Heart as a Still Small Voice yearning to be heard.
For in each and every situation we encounter, like water rising to seek its own level, so Love, and the Light of that Love becomes a beacon shining out as the highest point in any given occurrence, and all the forces surrounding that Love are Awakened and Empowered and Up Lifted and Transformed by that Love.
We are suffering more than we are meant to. Chronic stress. Loneliness. Isolation. Anxiety. Depression. We are overwhelmed by pain because we’re alienated from the basic understanding of who we truly are. What if we recognized that we are made of infinite energy emanating from a source of unimaginable creative power? Suffering wouldn’t linger as much as we allow it to now.
Here are three suggestions on how to become a positive thought warrior.
Mindset Shifts to Summon Self-Compassion
We must remember that we all deserve love and joy, and all that is good and beautiful. If we keep this thought in mind, life will naturally tend to be beautiful.
Most of us deep down within, could be feeling they don't deserve a lot they are gifted with, also our socio-cultural environment has taught us this spirit of sacrifice and we are inevitably taught to deal with a lot of guilt regarding our personal belongings.
This is most specially relevant if you come from a wealthy and affluent family. You are given the message time and again that you do not deserve this abundance and you need to give it up or give it away as you have no right on what you have not worked for. Of course sharing is a very noble part of the human existence, but sharing from a space of guilt is incorrect. We need to share from a space of love.