Inner Bonding is a powerful process for healing the fear and false beliefs that cause our pain, and it's also a process for developing and enhancing our passion, productivity, and creativity.
A loving parent does not just attend to a child when he or she is crying or angry. Loving moms and dads enjoy holding and playing with their children when they are peaceful, laughing, and learning.
We are becoming aware of everything that is not love. On any given day we can latch onto anything that is happening in the world, and it begs the question: Why is what’s happening, happening in the world?
The early stages of any new relationship are always the most intense. This is the time when the exhilaration of meeting the right person is the most pronounced, and we feel immediately close and may even become focused on thinking about them frequently or on an ongoing basis.
This is typically a period of time when all of our emotional energy is on the relationship. Hormonal changes in the body, including higher levels of adrenaline, create a high level of emotional awareness. The levels of serotonin, which naturally calm and relax a person, are low, leading to a heightened sense of every interaction with the person who is the object of your focus.
For many years, I did intuitive angel readings and taught people how to open their intuition to communicate with their higher self, angels, fairies, and the Divine. When I first started communicating with angels and fairies, I felt their energies “out there,” meaning outside my body. I focused on my upper chakras, including my third eye and crown. However, at first, I was not very connected to my body, and the intuitive messages felt hazy instead of clear.
Several years ago, the New York Times quoted an online dater as saying:
“Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”
Yes. This is true.
AND, now there is a way to break the code.
I’ve just finished reading a game changing book about love and texting.
Speaking in Thumbs, A Psychiatrist Decode Your Relationship Texts So You Don’t Have To is written by psychiatrist, Mimi Winsberg. (She is the former resident shrink for Facebook).
Is something missing in your life; maybe you are constantly feeling the pull to search for something more? This feeling can range from a vague feeling like you misplaced something, to a very strong feeling of being abandoned. If this resonates, keep reading and discover how to reclaim the lost and unloved pieces of you.
Over a decade ago, I booked a private tour that shared sacred spots on the island of Kauai. It was really interesting. I could feel the powerful energy of the ceremonial stones. The same woman offered a private session to reclaim pieces of my fragmented soul.
Central to our wellbeing is knowing that we are okay - that we are worthy, adequate, and lovable. Feeling that we are okay can come from two different sources:
Codependency is the term used to describe the addiction to feeling okay through others.
Our relationships with one another are often a source of distress. In general, the principal form of conflict we experience with others has to do with some form of consideration that we feel they are not giving to us. We often suffer from thoughts like these: “She is not being respectful enough.” “He is not as kind as I want him to be.” “They just don’t care as deeply as I do.”
For better or worse.
Through thick and thin.
Will take a bullet for you.
Is solid as a rock.
Always has your back and is your biggest cheerleader and safe place to land.
Melanie grew up with a narcissistic mother who demanded that Melanie conform to her mother’s concept of how a child should behave. To protect herself from her mother's anger, blame and disapproval, Melanie tried to be the "perfect child". She got excellent grades in school, was obedient at home, and never did anything to cause her parents to worry about her. She would listen for hours to her mother's complaints, becoming a mother to her mother by the time she was twelve years old. Melanie was parentified and learned to be a caretaker, always trying to prove to her mother that she loved her.
Her mother would always find something to scream at her about, something to blame her for, something which, in her mother's mind, justified her intense disapproval. Not only did her mother not feel loved by Melanie, but her mother would also accuse Melanie of being selfish. This crazy-making situation created much confusion for Melanie, and she absorbed the belief that there was something wrong with her.
In Melanie's mind, the only way she could feel like she was a good person was to prove to others who were important to her that she loved them. This pattern continued in her marriage. Melanie married a man much like her mother - a narcissist who constantly demanded her time and attention. Again, no matter how much time and attention she gave to her husband, and no matter how much sex she had with him, it was never enough. Like her mother, her husband was never happy with her and was frequently angry, blaming and disapproving of her.
Like the old song says, breaking up is hard to do. The aftermath of a dissolved relationship provokes a strong emotional response that can even have physical consequences.
You should treat yourself gently during this time and take care to nurture your emotional well-being. Here are five mental wellness tips for when a relationship ends.
As someone who has written 12 books, had a big career as a book publicist and a literary agent, I’ve been deep in the publishing world for most of my life.
Yesterday I was talking an old friend who was interviewing me for an article she is writing for a major publication about becoming an author in your later years, and I had an epiphany:
Everyone needs something a bit different in their romantic relationships. You might want something long-term or need a low-key relationship that takes it slow. No matter what your priorities are, everyone aligns when it comes to emotional intelligence. It makes every partnership thrive, so learn how to foster emotional intelligence in your relationship with these tips.
Most people have had at least one bad relationship. Often these toxic relationships end badly, with one person storming off and never being heard from or seen again by the other. In fact, in many of these types of difficult relationships, neither person wants to see the other.
On Saturday I organized a Celebration of Life for my mother with more than 70 family and close friends in attendance at the Catamaran resort overlooking the water.
We had a decadent buffet, face-painters, temporary tattoos, and butterfly wings for the kids, a musical performance by our dear friends Ron Bohmer and Sandra Joseph (they starred in Phantom of the Opera for 10 years as the Phantom and Christine) along with many heart opening and funny tributes.
No matter how gently I offer it, sometimes the information is very difficult for the person to hear, such as, "Right now, you are pulling on everyone for love and approval. You have handed your inner child to everyone around you to take care of you. There must be a good reason you are doing this. Are you open to exploring this?" or "There must be a very good reason that there is no loving adult present here. There is just a wounded child. Are you willing to open to learning about this?" or "I cannot feel you when you cry like this. This pain is the pain of a victim, trying to get someone to take care of you. This is pain that you are causing by your own self-judgment and self-abandonment. This crying is a pull on others to take care of you. You hope others will feel sorry for you and have compassion for you because you have no compassion for yourself. There must be some very good reasons that you are abandoning yourself right now. Are you willing to open to learning about this?"
They think I am judging them rather than offering them a truth. They do not get that truth is love - authentic radical love. Without knowing the truth about their intention and their behavior, they cannot heal. The truth opens the door for them to start loving themselves instead of spending all their energy trying to get others to love them.
We are often told that it's important to speak up for ourselves, but we have few role models for what this looks like.
Gwendolyn asked the following question about this topic:
The core basis of my belief and understanding about manifestation (whether you are manifesting love, a car, a new career, or a new little black dress) is this:
There is no “time.” The past, present, and future all happen simultaneously.
When we have a desire for something, it’s because some part of us “already knows that this is possible for us,” on an unseen level.
Your dream is not some random thing out there somewhere; it is already in existence, calling upon you to dream it into your existence.
You may ask yourself this from time to time. Not just in reference to a particular place but also here on Earth, in this life. The answer to both is the same: Love. You are here to love—every person, event, experience, and complicated nuance in your life. Why? Because love is who you are at your core; you were born out of love, human and divine, and to express it is part of the human and planetary design. It is as natural as breathing, and as essential to life. Love is woven into the fabric of everything, and it is renewed and enlivened by our expressing it on a daily basis. Without that living manifestation of our core essence, we and the planet would shrivel and die.
Sometimes the path of purpose can be hidden, seemingly impossible to find, but it’s really quite simple. We aren’t here to make lots of money or a name for ourselves, to accumulate possessions or stocks and bonds. Those are distractions, side events that eventually we see through and move on from. The human course is not necessarily self-evident, but gradually our life experiences awaken us to who we really are at the soul level. We finally see the truth that George Bailey did in the classic film It’s a Wonderful Life: No one is a failure who has friends, and kindness and generosity made him the “richest man in town.” Without his presence, no one else in his life would have fully lived who they came here to be. Same with each of us. You affect many more people than you know.