Many times the very thing we want from those we are with—for example, respect, patience, or a just little tenderness—is the very thing that we ourselves either lack at the moment or otherwise somehow are withholding from them.

The “catch” here is that we are mostly clueless about our own actual impoverished condition in these moments because—quietly tucked away in the depths of us are certain clever “self-concealing devices.” The continuing presence of these unconscious parts of us ensures we never realize that it is we who run in debt because of how quickly they point out the inadequacies of those they judge. Each time our attention is successfully diverted in this way, here’s what unfolds: not only are we kept from coming awake to ourselves, but in this engineered spiritual sleep we are rendered unable to realize that the very quality we judge as missing in the person before us is actually lacking in ourselves!

How To Honor and Respect Yourself

Don’t mistake being kind, loving and spiritual for allowing others to walk all over you or treat you with disrespect.

When you know who you really are, a magnificent expression of the Divine, you won’t allow yourself to be treated like anything less.

Focus on your spirit and protect your true essence.

People treat you how you teach them to treat you based on what you accept.

No one can continue to mistreat you unless you allow it. You are responsible for what you accept. Allowing people to treat you with disrespect serves no one.

In life and relationships you get what you settle for.

So what are you settling for?

You can’t control people’s actions, but you can control what you put up with, accept and how you choose to respond.

Kindness to Others is Enlightened Self-interest

The Practice:


Love your neighbor.

Why?

This practice might sound extreme or pushy, and I want to tell you what I mean by it.

Everyone has lots of neighbors, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Obviously the people living across the street are neighbors, but in some sense so are the people you live with. Friends, relatives, co-workers, all the people you know are neighbors. So are the people at the market or walking past on the street. Other living things are neighbors as well, such as cats and dogs, birds and bees, ants on the kitchen counter, and plants and trees.

Back in the early 70’s my audiences were all between 15 and 25 years old. They wore white, they all had flowers in their hair, and they all smiled a lot, and we would meet so that we could review the maps for our inner journeys.

So one night I was lecturing to my constituents, and in the front row was a women about 70 years old with a hat with strawberries and cherries on it. She had a black patent leather bag and a print dress and solid black oxford shoes. I looked at her and thought, “This is not an ‘acid head’, what is she doing here?” I figured somebody brought her for some reason and how bizarre. I started to talk, and talk about these very far out places of the mind and everywhere I went, she’d be going like this (nodding), and I got absolutely obsessed with her, you know. I tried saying different things, and she’d be going along.