The most basic need in anyone’s life is to feel safe. All other attainments are built from this baseline. If you usually feel safe, you are likely to be more productive in your life. But we can all remember times when there were serious setbacks. Then a downward spiral can develop. Whatever the emotion that overtakes us—feeling weak, unwanted, desperate, dejected, or anxious—there is one common element: We feel isolated and alone.
Now more than ever, intentional community has become more essential to our spiritual health and well-being. Because of our current realities, we are all searching for new ways of connecting and creating support for and with each other. Trust me: It’s quite a challenge for any living thing to grow in isolation — even some gardeners believe in the concept of “companion planting,” whereby seedlings thrive when they have neighbors nearby!
Over the past months, I’ve often thought of this quote from Game of Thrones: “In the storm the lone wolf perishes but the pack will survive.” It can feel like we are in a storm right now, turbulence of a world gone off-kilter. We cannot go it alone… we must reach out to each other!
At some level, you already know that’s true (which is why you are reading this… There are no accidents!). We are designed for relationship. But in our current age of digital overload, spiritual seekers express three main concerns or blocks to pursuing intentional connection and community.
See if any of the following sound familiar to you:
What helps you carry your load?
The Practice:
Feel the support.
Why?
We’re all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It’s very real, isn’t it? Recognizing it is just honesty and self-compassion, not exaggeration or self-pity.
There’s a fundamental model in the health sciences that how you feel and function is based on just three factors: your load, the personal vulnerabilities it wears upon – such as health problems, a sensitive temperament, or a history of trauma – and the resources you have. As a law of nature, if your load or vulnerabilities increase – over a day, a year, or a lifetime – so must your resources. Otherwise, inevitably, you will get strained, depleted, and ground down. I’ve had times like this myself, and I’ve seen it in loved ones.
There I was, sitting in a small back room at Molloy College, waiting to go on stage to talk about my new book, “I’ve Been Thinking…”
This was Wednesday, two days into my book tour. I had just driven two hours from Manhattan to Long Island and I was tired. I was sitting alone. I was feeling anxious. (Yes, I still feel anxious when I have a new book come out.)
I was trying to take a few moments to gather my thoughts. Trying to calm my mind and heart. Trying to remind myself why I had written this book and why I was doing all of this in the first place. Then, thoughts of self-doubt started to fill my head. (Yes, I gave up self-doubt for Lent, but like anything hard, this is a process.)
“Will anyone like my book?” I asked myself. “Of course, they won’t.”
“Oh my God, I should have added this line and not that one,” I thought.
There I was feeling a bit like “God help me.” Then, I heard my name introduced on stage. I walked out from behind the curtain and saw a packed room sitting before me. People filled the auditorium all the way up to the rafters. I looked up and around and the first thought that came to my mind was, “I’m in the wrong room! God help me! I’m in the wrong room!”
A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, destiny, free will, and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”
When something really bad happens to someone – let’s say a serious diagnosis, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, ” What thoughts were you having that would cause this?”…well, this scenario just makes me crazy.
To thrive on the level of the body requires the support of an optimal functioning physical system. For that, proper diet is required and that means a diet that is suited to your unique needs, situation and location. If you live in the tropics and do hard labor your diet will be quite different from someone living in a polar region who is sedentary. If you are tall and thin naturally, or if you are short and stout your requirements may be different. The same holds true for age and activity levels. Does eating seasonally feel good to you? And your philosophy will affect your diet; are you a carnivore or vegetarian? Some people tolerate caffeine and alcohol and some don’t. Some people can eat late at night and sleep well and others can’t. You are unique.
