On the journey to self-actualization and becoming your highest self, there may come a point where you stop and wonder, “How do I know when I’ve found myself?”
It’s easy to get stuck in this way of thinking – the idea that your spiritual journey has an endpoint. That you aren’t your true, authentic self until one day, everything changes and you finally “arrive.” Instead, what you’ll most likely discover is that you will find yourself over and over again along the way. Finding yourself is more of a gradual unfolding or an organic blossoming than reaching a destination.
There are these moments though, where you’ll discover a little bit more about yourself. Where you know more about life or you have more self compassion. Where you see yourself and your life through a new lens. And each of these is another point on the evolution of your blossoming.
As you grow and transform, new parts of you are revealed.
As you journey into the path of self-exploration and try to figure out what authenticity means to you and how to be yourself, you might notice yourself getting stuck in the darkness at times.
I think there can be a cultural story or belief that if you want to transform, if you want to find yourself, you need to be doing deep, heavy, serious inner-work all the time. This is absolutely one part of the journey toward self actualization and figuring out how to be yourself or how to be more authentic, but it’s far from the whole story!
On your spiritual journey and your path to be the best version of you, you also get to have fun! You get to experience joy, playfulness, and moments of clarity.
Sure, there will be times when you have to look at your shadow and do deep work, but that doesn’t have to define the entire journey. Your journey is all of it – all the messiness and beauty of life, all of it essential, none of it wasted. Joy dances with grief, laughter with tears.
You look into your own soul and see the beauty there. You get to see your life experiences through a new lens and realize that all of your complexities and life experiences are perfect in their imperfection.
Without bypassing what’s painful, you still get to know joy!
I like to call this little paradigm “crabs in a bucket.” This is the experience when you have made a decision to commit to changing your life, to going all in on your transformation and claiming the life you want – but the people in your life are uncomfortable with the idea of you changing.
This can be one of the biggest obstacles on the path of personal growth.
Just when you feel ready to go out, do the inner-work, find yourself, and commit to your self-compassion and self-worth, you get thrown off track by the people you love most.
Their resistance to your change is innocent, but they are triggered by your growth and so when you start to crawl out of the bucket – they’ve gotta pull you back down!
Sometimes, you can even become your own crab… the little voice in your head pulling you back down each time you make progress.
Wherever it’s coming from, the root of this is that you or the people around you are afraid to see you change. Afraid you’ll leave them behind or you won’t be able to connect anymore. But when you commit to your growth, you make a decision. You decide to grow into the best version of you, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. And that’s what you have to keep coming back to.
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