How to Foster Emotional Intelligence in Your Relationship

Everyone needs something a bit different in their romantic relationships. You might want something long-term or need a low-key relationship that takes it slow. No matter what your priorities are, everyone aligns when it comes to emotional intelligence. It makes every partnership thrive, so learn how to foster emotional intelligence in your relationship with these tips.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

You know how to measure your intellectual intelligence by grades, but emotional intelligence works differently. It’s a term created by two psychologists in the 1990s that reflects an individual’s ability to identify, name and manage emotions in themselves and others.

If you’re wondering where your emotional intelligence stands, you can consult a psychologist for a personalized check-in. You can also complete a quick test provided by the Global Leadership Foundation to get a general idea of your current emotional skill set.

What Are Signs of Emotional Intelligence?

Someone with a high emotional intelligence won’t shy away from reflecting on how they feel in easy and challenging periods. They’ll be able to name their emotion and constructively channel it through conversations, hobbies or routine adjustments. It’s the perfect balance of using your rational mind and embracing your heart.

Anyone who shuts down during arguments, walks away from serious conversations or cannot depict how they’re feeling will likely have low emotional intelligence. It holds those people back from experiencing healthy relationships and understanding themselves on a deeper level. They may also be unable to process things that have happened to them because they prefer to box up any feelings that make them uncomfortable.

How to Foster Emotional Intelligence

There are a few ways people can learn how to foster emotional intelligence in their relationships. See if you can start any of these tips today.

1. Talk Frankly About Your Relationship Style

Of the many relationship styles, everyone should want to form secure attachments. They’re an ideal foundation for romantic and platonic relationships because they create safe and secure environments for both individuals to thrive.

Talking about your current relationship style is the best way to form a secure attachment. Discuss if you both communicate your feelings openly and if you can rely on your partner for emotional support.

Couples who can do both easily will already have significant emotional intelligence in their relationship. If not, setting a shared goal to talk more freely about your feelings without fear of ridicule or dismissive comments will help you get there.

2. Prioritize Emotional Intelligence During Arguments

How closely do you and your partner watch your words when an argument happens? Someone with healthy emotional intelligence will watch their words to communicate effectively while everyone’s hearts are open to potential bruising.

First, you should both commit to listening and staying present while the other person is speaking. Don’t plan your next comeback or another point in your argument. Remaining present also creates more space to prepare healthy responses that consider everyone’s mental state like someone with high emotional intelligence.

3. Reflect on Your Boundaries

Sharing your emotions is a strength, but there’s also strength in setting and respecting boundaries regarding your feelings. Figure out where your limits are during your next heart-to-heart with your partner. Listen to theirs as well.

The next time those sensitive subjects arise, check in on those pre-established boundaries. They often morph with time as someone grows more comfortable with a topic or finds that they aren’t in the right headspace to broach that subject so intensely again.

Emotional intelligence takes continuous work, especially when it comes to healthy boundaries. Communicating about them is an integral part of forming healthy attachments and fostering happy long-term relationships.

Improve Your Relationship’s Emotional Intelligence

Now that you know how to foster emotional intelligence in your relationship, consider taking these starter steps to strengthen your connection. Discussing emotions freely, demonstrating listening during arguments and respecting boundaries are just a few healthy ways to grow with your partner.