What are you learning?
Ask more questions.
It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
Given relationships are your parents, your children, you can’t trade them in. They’re given. Friends on the other hand are acquired. You can drop them. Marriages are an ambiguous place; you can look at it either way. We changed marriages from a given karmic situation into an acquired karmic situation, where you can change it if it doesn’t work well.
When you have relationships that are “given” karmically, you have people that are from all different levels of consciousness. You’ve been thrown together with them, and it becomes about, “I can’t understand why we’ve been thrown together.” It’s the chance to see the way in which you have catered to your personality, and a chance to push against it a little bit.
I’m playing with such a delicate and uncomfortable edge, which is the idea that fulfilling roles brings freedom, and the roles are not just responding to your personality desires and yourself.
Gandhi once said, “Civilization is the art of voluntary renunciation.” Which means you give up certain things in yourself in order to be able to play a part in a dance.
So why would you invest in the family?
You would invest in the family because you understand that part of your incarnation and part of being in the way of things is to find your function within family. Now it doesn’t mean lockstep, it doesn’t mean that every mother is the same mother or every father is the same father. You have to hear your unique way through, but unique doesn’t necessarily just mean personality desire. What is appropriate in view of my skills, opportunities, needs of the family, economics, political situation, and so on?
When you’re poor, and a family of six is living in one room, it’s a very different set of roles and demands than if you’re living in a situation where everybody has their own room they can go in and lock the door. It’s hard to face, because we think we won that affluence which has given us the privacy to have our own rooms, but it’s really a mixed bag. It’s given us the privacy to become very isolated and cut off from each other and very private and very secretive and very ashamed and very embarrassed and very uncomfortable, with a whole lot of stuff to carry around with us.
Holiday season can be one of the most challenging and intense times of the year.
As much as you may love them, one of the most difficult things can be spending extended time with family members.
It’s sometimes those that you love and have the most history with are the ones who are able to trigger you the most and push your buttons.
There’s a saying, “If you want to see how enlightened you are, spend the weekend with family”.
Consider this: Your family members are also souls on a journey dealing with their own lessons in this lifetime. You attracted each other’s souls because there are certain lessons you have to work out. And that the family members who challenge you the most are actually your greatest spiritual teachers and growth opportunities.
For those of you that have kids heading to college or moving out … For those of you that have a sense of emptiness and sadness that your child is heading out on his/her own … leaving you to YOUR life. I share this little story from my life 9 years ago. I have recently repeated this experience with my baby … twice. He moved out into the dorms, then back in for a year … and most recently out again. I know that sadness you can feel … but man oh man, what a gift it is to release our children to their dreams, their lives and their creations. I say release very loosely … as if we have a choice. But we do … we can see it from a perspective of pain and loss vs. a place of gratitude and appreciation. – Enjoy it all my friend. – SDJ ♥
A woman came in to see me up in New Hampshire some years ago. She said, “My daughter’s using drugs. I don’t know why I’ve come to see you, but you seem to have an understanding of young people and all that, and the minister said I should come.” It gets very far out. So I said, “Well do come in and sit down. I’m sorry I don’t have a chair, but you can sit on this, I’ll make these cushions higher so you can be more comfortable. I’ll give you this, it’s an interesting tea, it’s made of 17 spices which include…” and I listed them.
Join Panache Desai each weekday morning for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
Designed To Move You From Survival and Fear to Safety and Peace. Available Monday - Friday. Meditation begins at 9 AM. Access early to hear Panache's monologue - around 8:30 AM.
...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...
PLUS! Get your FREE Guide: 12 Mindfulness Practices to a Peaceful Mind