It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Beyond Suffering: An Ah-Ha Moment!

Allyson and Jonathan are sitting in front of me at a 5-Day Intensive. Married for 2 years, they have lost the passion and fun they once had, and they cannot understand why.

As I sit with them and experience what I call their relationship system, I see that what Jonathan does when he feels lonely around Allyson is to abandon himself by getting hard and judgmental or by shutting down. I see that what Allyson does when she feels lonely around Jonathan is to abandon herself by disconnecting from herself, leaving her heart and going up into her head. I see that Allyson’s disconnection makes Jonathan feel lonely, and Jonathan’s judgment and withdrawal crush Allyson.

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Start Seeing What You “Give” to Others

Every moment is the right moment to start seeing ourselves as we are... regardless of whoever may be our “partner” of the moment.

Maybe it’s the person in that long line with us, complaining about how slowly things are moving. There’s no better time to practice seeing yourself than when some part of you can’t wait to “pounce” on the impatience of someone else. How about being stuck behind a driver on the freeway who won’t speed up or get out of the way?

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The Power of Love

Love is one of those words that gets used a lot but has so many different meanings. Love is a feeling, a sentiment, a behavior, an action, a way of being, and often the thing that has the capacity to heal almost every situation.

I don’t believe there is a shortage of love in the world, in fact I believe that just as there is more than enough air and water for all of us, there is an abundance of love. When we choose to consciously tap into the vast pool of love and share it with our world and the world around us, life is a better, safer, happier place for us all.

Here are wise words from a sermon by Rev. Michael Curry:
“The late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We must discover the power of love, the redemptive power of love. And when we discover that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world. Love is the only way.
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Trust Yourself

Who do you trust?

The Practice:
Trust yourself

Why?

As I grew up, at home and school it felt dangerous to be myself – my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable.

Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways, or rejected, shunned, and shamed.

So, as children understandably do, I put on a mask. Closed up, watching warily, managing the performance of “me.” There was a valve in my throat: I knew what I thought and felt deep inside, but little of it came out into the world.

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Pivoting Out of Fear Into Love

The Self.  When I use the term, the self, I am not talking about the created self. In my book, You Are Enough, I outlined the distinction between the authentic self, or essential self, and the created self. The short version, or synopsis of my book, is that as long as we continue to identify as the created self, the ego and the identity, we continue to perpetuate our suffering. The reason we are not excelling in every area of life, is because of our conditioning out of our normal state of being. 

I’d like to offer you a shortcut today, a cheat code, a way to access what every incredible being throughout human history has accessed and embodied. I’d like you to begin to love what you have been taught to reject, love what you have concluded that you have to repress, love what you have denied, and especially, meet every single part of you with the love that it deserves to receive. At some point, you have to realize the futility of being afraid. 

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What Is Your Loud Song?

Music always gave me comfort through challenging times. Music was my constant companion and soundtrack to life. I consider junior high the cruelest time of life. Surviving bullying and the rhythm of growing up and falling down.

At age 17, after graduating high school I moved to Santa Monica, CA with my best friend Mike to become a Graduate Gemologist.

We lived in a small apartment so we couldn't listen to music too loud without disturbing our neighbors. We made an agreement that we both had our "Loud Song". If our favorite song came on the radio we could turn it up as loud as we want for that one song.

My loud song was "Roll With The Changes" by REO Speedwagon and Mike's loud song was "Dream On" by Aerosmith.

A year after we got home to Minnesota, Mike was killed in a head on car crash. His spirit continues to stay with me, knowing he lived his life by his loud song. Somehow his song made the deep loss easier for me.

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A New Way to Meet Moments When Trouble Comes

What’s the first thing that any of us do when trouble comes? The first thing that happens when we get into trouble is that we start thinking. Our little think machine just gets geared up, and it starts to go. And it goes. Now, what is it thinking about?  It’s thinking about the trouble it’s in and it’s thinking about ways in which to get out of trouble.

And once our little machine starts to think about ways to get out of trouble, and is able to identify the way in which it can free itself, what does it do? It starts asking for stuff, doesn’t it? “Oh, please fix this. Please get rid of this. Please change this.” 

We must be willing to look at ourselves and see that when something happens and a pain comes, we start thinking. And when we start seeing what we think is the problem, even if it’s about ourselves, we start asking for ways to be free of this situation

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How To Increase Your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

People will treat you how you teach them to treat you.”

The foundation of your life is based on the foundation of your own self-esteem and your relationship with your self-worth. Self-esteem is at the root of your experience of yourself and other people. We tend to experience life at the level of our self-esteem, and the quality of our life will be at the quality of our self-esteem in terms of how we see ourselves. Listen to this very important episode as I dive deep into the signs of low self-esteem, and how to rise above and change your narrative to believe that "You are enough, just as you are."

Are You Feeling Stuck in Your Relationship?

I’m the money chick, which leads a lot of people to ask, “Julie… why do you talk about so many of these others topics? Relationships? Work life? Health?”

The answer is actually very simple: success in all these areas has to do with how we are authentically showing up in the world, and money is actually the result of you aligning with your heart and your soul—aligning in your relationship, your work, your health, and so much more. Without alignment in all these areas, money doesn’t follow, and if it does follow, it may not stick and stay either.

So today we’re going to focus a bit on relationships because if you are not happy in your relationships, then going to affect many aspects of your life in a negative way.

Taking Responsibility
Many people get mad at me for saying this, but here’s the hard truth: you created exactly the life you have and you made choices to get to the place you’re in right now. I get that life happens and some things are out of your control, but you being in the relationship you’re in (or not in) is you’re choosing.

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The ABC’s of How to Free Yourself from Negative Thoughts and Feelings

Have you ever noticed that when you’re under the cloud of some negative state, what you do to try to “make things better” actually makes the situation worse? Struggling to free yourself from your own negative reactions is a bit like throwing gasoline onto a fire, isn’t it? 

Recognizing that you get trapped in this pattern of taking action that neither relieves nor rescues you from negative states  actually opens up the possibility of another kind of action based on higher self-knowledge.

Following are three new actions – the fundamental “ABC’s” – that can start you on the path to breaking free from negative thoughts and feelings: 

Avoid nothing.

 

In the moment when suddenly you are carried away in a river of negative thoughts and feelings, does it not seem as if the first thing to do is to, at all costs, avoid? Not just the states themselves, but to try to correct or reconcile the situation that these suffering thoughts and feeling are based in? 

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Love What’s Real

What can you count on?

The Practice:
Love what’s real.

Why?

Because this practice could seem so abstract or so obvious that it’s not worth doing, I am going to take longer than usual to explain why it’s so important.

As I grew up, my family and schools felt like shaky ground. I didn’t understand why my parents and many kids reacted the ways they did, with worry or anger that was unrelated to what was actually happening. It felt shaky inside me, too, and I didn’t understand my own feelings and reactions. Outside and inside both felt twirly, up in the air, unnerving.

So I looked for solid ground. I tried to see and understand what was really true. The orange groves and hills around our home were natural and comforting, and I spent a lot of time there. I started reading science fiction and liked an orderly universe in which you could figure out why the spaceship was falling and save it.

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You are the NEW Enlightened Leader

Do you consider yourself a leader? 

Executives, entrepreneurs, parents, coaches, politicians, social activists, influencers of all kinds are leading our world today.

The world is filled with leaders…

What we need more of are Enlightened  Leaders. 

An enlightened leader sees how the world around them could be improved and they rally others to create that vision with truth, compassion, love and awareness. 

YOU are the NEW enlightened leader! 

Everyday you influence the decisions being made around you. 

Whether you're looking for a new job, building your business or simply trying to get the kids to behave, you are influencing someone every day.

How is that working out for you?

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The Imaginal Cells of Love

In biology there is a term called imaginal cells and it explains how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.

The metamorphosis begins when the caterpillar hunkers down on a perch and forms a chrysalis. It then dissolves and decomposes into a cosmic ooze.

During this process imaginal cells, which have been ling quietly inside the DNA of the caterpillar, spring to life, igniting new form and structure until a tipping point is hit and the caterpillar emerges as a beautiful butterfly.

For those of you seeking to find love, keep love, or be love, you can create more love in your life by awakening your own imaginal cells of love. The process is easy.

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A New Way to End Your Problems With “Problem People”

We often have a negative response to people who act thoughtlessly toward us. To our usual way of thinking, it just seems natural. But what we don’t realize is that it is the exact same kind of thoughtlessness within us that produces our response.

In other words, our own hostile reactions take no thought for anything outside of what they call into account for their suddenly heated existence -- so that the only awareness we possess in these times is that low level of cognizance that possesses us, making us feel "entitled" to attack back! And with our own aching heart or pounding thoughts providing the fuel, we lash out! After all, it is our "right" to set the record straight.

But in these moments, if we could learn to step back from ourselves -- to see and to be aware of ourselves as being but a cog in an ever-turning wheel of hurting and being hurt -- there would follow a great and liberating self-revelation. We would see, clearly, that before we rise up and attempt to hurt someone who has hurt us, it is we who hold this hurt first. And if we realize the dynamic exposed here -- how one hurt always gives rise to another one -- then we should also be able to see that each of us is always the first to hold this unwanted pain.

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This Is What People Will Remember About You

You love so much.

You love everybody so much and that’s why you get frustrated, and why you get angry. What you are beginning to realize is that no matter how much you love yourself, you can’t make other people love themselves. 

At some point you have to recognize that every soul is on it’s own perfect journey and you have to allow everyone in your life, regardless of the relationship, to have their own journey. You don’t need to be the lifeguard in everybody’s life or micromanage and control every single person in your experience because you are afraid. Instead, how about you just begin to tell the truth: I love you and I am scared. 

“I love you and I am scared”

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Electricity of Touch


Kennedy shares with us the electricity of touch, that which we knew even before the heart begins to beat. We came from the heart - our energetic heart. Listen as she tells the story of two twin baby girls and the electricity of touch.  
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Let Love Resolve Your Differences (and You Both Win!)

Have you ever been drawn into a fight with a loved one where by the time you got knee-deep into who's “right” and who's “wrong” over the most trivial thing it felt as if, somehow, your very life depended on the outcome of that fight?

We’ve all had moments like this, perhaps too many times; which is why it seems strange that we’ve yet to see the following: there's no such thing as a “winning” side in any fight between two people who love one another, anymore than one seat proved itself better than another on the deck of the Titanic.

This isn't to say that there aren’t, and won't always be differences in opinion between our partner and us; this is natural; needed, actually. There will always be some differences between us that aren’t a question of which of us is right – or wrong – as the case may be; rather there may come times when a disagreement might be over the best course to take for the well-being of a child, or over some other shared concern...where we see a different path than does our partner in order to reach an outcome that both of us agree is for the good of all.

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An Invitation To More Love

I’ve had to go through some pretty interesting things on a personal level in order to be who I am today. Experiences I would never have actually consciously created, things that on an egoic level I would have never signed up for. But all of these things and experiences are actually everything that I needed in order to fully wake up to be who I am today. 

I’ve discovered through the course of my own personal journey, that the acceptance of what is happening, no matter what that may be in the moment, provides me a sense of relief. And, as much as it’s provided me a sense of relief, it is providing an ever-expanding global community a sense of relief. 

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You are Totally Loveable (Just the way you are)

The 8th anniversary of my sister Debbie’s passing was a few days ago.

I was going through some recordings we did together and found a “feelingization” on falling in love with yourself that is just gorgeous.

Below is the essence of the process and you can also access the audio here.

Place your attention on the area around your heart, and take a deep breath into the deepest part of yourself, as you hold the intention of falling in love with yourself: knowing that you are worthy, loving, and wholly unique.

See yourself seated on a beautiful velvet loveseat in the center of your own heart…. a cozy and comfortable love seat…. now look off to your left and you are going to see an image of you…. it’s an image of your most loveable self: the part of you that radiates joy and hope: the part of you that knows you are special and unique and that there is nobody like you in the world.

What does that aspect of you look like? Maybe you’ll see an image of yourself at age 2, or 3, or 15 or 22. It’s you radiating love. Your eyes are lit up, you are irresistible. Now just invite that aspect of yourself to come and sit beside you on the loveseat as you continue to breathe deeply.

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: Kinship

If you don’t know,

then ask the moon in the sky.

Yuanwu



Trying to prove that all things

are connected is like piling up

snow in a silver bowl.

As soon as you bring it inside,

what you’ve gathered will vanish.

For truth like the ocean is hard

to see once in it.

I can only say that the things that

matter are always there like stars

in the daytime.

Kindness sleeps in our heart

the way flowers are compressed

in their seed.

Everything is waiting for the right

moment to break ground.

I am always here for you.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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