It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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A New Way to Meet Moments When Trouble Comes

What’s the first thing that any of us do when trouble comes? The first thing that happens when we get into trouble is that we start thinking. Our little think machine just gets geared up, and it starts to go. And it goes. Now, what is it thinking about?  It’s thinking about the trouble it’s in and it’s thinking about ways in which to get out of trouble.

And once our little machine starts to think about ways to get out of trouble, and is able to identify the way in which it can free itself, what does it do? It starts asking for stuff, doesn’t it? “Oh, please fix this. Please get rid of this. Please change this.” 

We must be willing to look at ourselves and see that when something happens and a pain comes, we start thinking. And when we start seeing what we think is the problem, even if it’s about ourselves, we start asking for ways to be free of this situation

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How To Increase Your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

People will treat you how you teach them to treat you.”

The foundation of your life is based on the foundation of your own self-esteem and your relationship with your self-worth. Self-esteem is at the root of your experience of yourself and other people. We tend to experience life at the level of our self-esteem, and the quality of our life will be at the quality of our self-esteem in terms of how we see ourselves. Listen to this very important episode as I dive deep into the signs of low self-esteem, and how to rise above and change your narrative to believe that "You are enough, just as you are."

The ABC’s of How to Free Yourself from Negative Thoughts and Feelings

Have you ever noticed that when you’re under the cloud of some negative state, what you do to try to “make things better” actually makes the situation worse? Struggling to free yourself from your own negative reactions is a bit like throwing gasoline onto a fire, isn’t it? 

Recognizing that you get trapped in this pattern of taking action that neither relieves nor rescues you from negative states  actually opens up the possibility of another kind of action based on higher self-knowledge.

Following are three new actions – the fundamental “ABC’s” – that can start you on the path to breaking free from negative thoughts and feelings: 

Avoid nothing.

 

In the moment when suddenly you are carried away in a river of negative thoughts and feelings, does it not seem as if the first thing to do is to, at all costs, avoid? Not just the states themselves, but to try to correct or reconcile the situation that these suffering thoughts and feeling are based in? 

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Love What’s Real

What can you count on?

The Practice:
Love what’s real.

Why?

Because this practice could seem so abstract or so obvious that it’s not worth doing, I am going to take longer than usual to explain why it’s so important.

As I grew up, my family and schools felt like shaky ground. I didn’t understand why my parents and many kids reacted the ways they did, with worry or anger that was unrelated to what was actually happening. It felt shaky inside me, too, and I didn’t understand my own feelings and reactions. Outside and inside both felt twirly, up in the air, unnerving.

So I looked for solid ground. I tried to see and understand what was really true. The orange groves and hills around our home were natural and comforting, and I spent a lot of time there. I started reading science fiction and liked an orderly universe in which you could figure out why the spaceship was falling and save it.

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You are the NEW Enlightened Leader

Do you consider yourself a leader? 

Executives, entrepreneurs, parents, coaches, politicians, social activists, influencers of all kinds are leading our world today.

The world is filled with leaders…

What we need more of are Enlightened  Leaders. 

An enlightened leader sees how the world around them could be improved and they rally others to create that vision with truth, compassion, love and awareness. 

YOU are the NEW enlightened leader! 

Everyday you influence the decisions being made around you. 

Whether you're looking for a new job, building your business or simply trying to get the kids to behave, you are influencing someone every day.

How is that working out for you?

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An Invitation To More Love

I’ve had to go through some pretty interesting things on a personal level in order to be who I am today. Experiences I would never have actually consciously created, things that on an egoic level I would have never signed up for. But all of these things and experiences are actually everything that I needed in order to fully wake up to be who I am today. 

I’ve discovered through the course of my own personal journey, that the acceptance of what is happening, no matter what that may be in the moment, provides me a sense of relief. And, as much as it’s provided me a sense of relief, it is providing an ever-expanding global community a sense of relief. 

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You are Totally Loveable (Just the way you are)

The 8th anniversary of my sister Debbie’s passing was a few days ago.

I was going through some recordings we did together and found a “feelingization” on falling in love with yourself that is just gorgeous.

Below is the essence of the process and you can also access the audio here.

Place your attention on the area around your heart, and take a deep breath into the deepest part of yourself, as you hold the intention of falling in love with yourself: knowing that you are worthy, loving, and wholly unique.

See yourself seated on a beautiful velvet loveseat in the center of your own heart…. a cozy and comfortable love seat…. now look off to your left and you are going to see an image of you…. it’s an image of your most loveable self: the part of you that radiates joy and hope: the part of you that knows you are special and unique and that there is nobody like you in the world.

What does that aspect of you look like? Maybe you’ll see an image of yourself at age 2, or 3, or 15 or 22. It’s you radiating love. Your eyes are lit up, you are irresistible. Now just invite that aspect of yourself to come and sit beside you on the loveseat as you continue to breathe deeply.

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Rest In Love

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”  — Maya Angelou

I've Been Thinking...

 

Did hearing " Happy Valentine's Day"  make you smile, or did it make you weep? Were you looking forward to the day, or were you mad that you aren’t where you want to be when it comes to love? If your answer is the latter, let’s take a walk (not a real one, of course, although I’d love that). Let’s take a moment to simply connect and be. 

After all, that’s what love is really all about. It's about being wholly yourself with another human and feeling loved for who you are. It’s not about a fancy dinner, a piece of jewelry, flowers, sex, or chocolates. Don’t get me wrong, those things are great, but they don’t define love on their own.

Love is deep. It’s varied. It’s complex and yet also simple. It’s romantic but also platonic. It can fill your heart up, and it can break it into a thousand little pieces. 

I’ve learned a lot about love over the years—what it is and isn’t—and much of what I’ve learned has come from a painful place. That said, it’s all helped me get to a more loving space in my life. 

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Self-Worth: A Reflection of Self-Love or Self-Abandonment

A woman asked me the following question:

“Why am I worthy at all? Saying I am a divine being does not answer to the underlying issue of self-worth in physical world reality. My daughter did something she is very ashamed of and has been suffering from low self-worth. I have had a hard time explaining why what she does is not who she is.”

 

There are a number of things that are important to understand about self-worth.

The daughter is suffering primarily because she is harshly judging herself for whatever it is she did. Instead, she needs to forgive herself, learn from her mistake, and be compassionate toward herself for being human and making mistakes – which all humans do.

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Dismiss the Dark States that Steal Happiness

Wishing to be free, without taking action toward our intention, is meaningless; we must employ the truths we uncover, or we will never realize the possibil­ity of their true power, which is to help us walk away from what has been wrecking us. But with this new understanding in mind we must also realize that the truth that sets us free is not for hire; it does not so much “work” for us as it is our silent partner, producing the new life we long for. This means several things. 

First, we must be receptive to truth’s instruction in the Now; only conscious awareness of our aching can lead us to what authentically answers it, ending it. But secondly, we must -- ourselves -- be true in the same moment to what we know is the truth of that moment. We must do the truth we know. We must refuse, no matter what the seeming cost in the moment, to take part in any conversation with those parts of us that have proven themselves, time and time again, to compromise us.

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Who Do You Think You Are?

Do you know that the deeper version of who we are has a vibrational signature? 

Pause a moment, ask the following… 

  • Are you living life as the Soulful Self or as a personality that’s compartmentalised itself with labels? 
  • Are you doing the respectable, responsible thing? 
  • Are you living a label based on somebody else’s “good idea” for you? A good idea you’re not even sure you desire to do or be.

Now check inside.

What does it mean to define ourselves and how we go about doing that? 

Do you ever wonder, “Who am I?” Or question, “How have I decided to present myself to the world?” 

Perhaps the definitions, conscious or unconscious, of who we think we are—our “types” or labels—might be running our life.

You might identify and define yourself consciously as: I’m a mother or father, a student, a doctor, an employee, a spiritual person, or a physically-strong and athletic person. Maybe it’s subconscious labels such as… I’m insecure or not enough. I’m supposed to be different than I am. I’m a logical or smart person. 

No matter the label we choose, they are all limiting boxes.

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Forgiveness For Yourself: A Ritual For Practicing Compassion and Love!

In February, our attention is often pulled to thoughts of love and romance, including heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, candlelit dinners, and dozens of roses from a partner who adores us. But while romantic relationships can make our hearts beat a wild tango (and are a delightful facet of our human existence!) here’s what I know to be true: 

You can only love another to the extent you love yourself. 

And self-love is rooted in self-forgiveness. Generosity of the heart, reverence, respect, and empathy for all living things bring you profound power to live a life of happiness and contentment. And that includes generosity, empathy, and compassion for yourself! 

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5 Ways to Escape the Painful World of Self-Judgment

It would seem – given the speed and ease with which most of us judge others and ourselves­– that there’s something natural, even good about it. After all, just about every time our eyes alight on someone or something, we judge it as good or bad, all based on how it stacks up against some inner ideal we have of how things should be. 

Why is she wearing that? He’s so clueless. OMG: I look terrible today. The inner comments never stop, and often come out in complaints we express to others. But we don’t see them as complaints. To us they are nothing less than our intelligent observations of life around us.

We also don’t see how this endless stream of judgments hurts us. When we impose a negative view on things and people based on the past conditioning we bring to the moment, we can’t experience life directly, or see the good it may be offering. We can’t see the beauty in what we’ve summarily cast away. 

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Your Peace Is All Peace

Sometimes there is not a word for what I want to describe. I have made up many words for my own use like, Thrival, Beditation and Heartfulness.

Expansion and contraction tend to be considered opposites. From my experience there is something other than contraction I call INSPANSION.

Expansion is often an increase of growing wider and larger.
Contraction is generally considered a decrease, restriction or withdrawal.

Just like how we can have an expanded awareness usually related to the mind, we can also have an inspanded awareness with our heart.

INSPANSION is inward growth, going deeper inside, coming more into yourself. Inspansion is manifest oneness.

Inspansion is not a limitation like contraction. It is complete and all inclusive acceptance.

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Are You Willing to Choose Love Right Now?

2021 is a year of movement—and it’s a wave you want to catch! We’ve all been paddling on our etheric surfboards for the past nine months and something is getting ready to birth. Perhaps you can’t quite see or feel it yet, but rest assured it’s happening…

In these times that may feel shaky and unstable, I want to share an option you can consciously choose in this moment…. Because you get to choose in each moment how you use your energies, resources and time. 

This year is the perfect time to choose to step into your greater Self, because that is what humanity needs right now. For each of us to show up as our magnificence. For each of us to choose to stay in a place of loving possibility.

Rather than our tendency to push the discomfort away—to create distraction or become unfocused by what is unfolding “out there,” we must choose to go inward into the core Truth of who we are. Because we are not separate. We are a part of humanity and this is what humanity does. This tendency for a “contraction” or anchoring of energies out-pictures in various ways. We are experiencing an increase in domestic violence, in pandemic cases, in overdrinking or overeating, and in a lot of abrasiveness in the world that’s coming up and out as we try to deal with the pain or issues. 

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Resistance to Healing

Do you believe that if you intellectually understand Inner Bonding without practicing it, change occurs?

Think of it this way: If you read a lot of books about working out, but you don’t actually work out, will your body get into shape?

If you read nutrition books but don’t change to a healthy diet, will you get healthier?

If you read about playing an instrument but don’t practice the instrument, will you learn to play it?

Inner Bonding is no different. It is a practice.

Resistance to Practicing

If you are resistant to practicing, there are good reasons for it. Actually, exploring your resistance is part of the practice. Here are some of the reasons you might be resisting the practice of Inner Bonding:

  • If I open to my feelings, they might overwhelm me.

If this is your fear, then you need to do some groundwork first. You might need some trauma therapy, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or SE (Somatic Experiencing) to de-escalate the intensity of your feelings and help you learn to regulate them.

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LOVE is in Your Mirror

For decades I admired the wisdom of the late Louise Hay and looked up to her as an icon of emotional healing and spiritual growth.

I loved her fierce courageousness, her willingness to do and say the right thing with the causes that called to her, and her joie de vivre always inspired me.

More than 30 years ago I sat with her to do her groundbreaking mirror work and it was a life changing day.

Louise held a mirror in front of my face and told me to look into my own eyes and make a series of positive statements to myself including “I love you.”

It was hard because I really felt like I was lying to myself. Somehow, I got through the process and then, with a daily practice of mirror work, I came to know that not only did I really love myself, but that I was also loveable!

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The Power of Asking For Help

When we are pursuing our dreams and goals, we must ask for help! Nobody has ever achieved their goals by themselves.

Why are we afraid to ask for help?

It is often because we are too proud or we see it as a sign of weakness. It is the opposite. Asking for help shows strength. When you ask for help you give that person the gift to give you service. You're helping them too.

How to Define Your True Self-Worth

Do you believe your self-worth is in your looks and performance? If you do, is this working for you and bringing you joy?

Marilyn asked in one of my webinars:

“I’ve noticed there are times I define my worth in a way that seems not good. For example, if I see a picture of myself and I like it, I’ll define myself as cute or thin or something positive like that. If I don’t like the picture, I will define myself as frumpy or unattractive. So, while I’m defining my worth, it seems dependent on how a picture comes out. The picture is just an example. I may do the same thing with how I feel after interacting with someone. If it’s lively, I’ll see myself as social or interesting. If the interaction doesn’t go well, I may see myself as boring or awkward. So, while I’m defining my own worth, it still seems not quite right. Any suggestions for me?”

The problem is that Marilyn is defining her worth externally – by her looks and performance – rather than intrinsically by her enduring soul qualities.

 

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Self-Confidence

Today we are going to talk about confidence: Self-confidence … being comfortable in the skin you’re in … learning how to feel secure in who you actually are.

I would like to start by just asking you: Does confidence hold you back in some area in your life? Do you feel that if you were more confident you would do A, B, C, D, E ________ (fill in the blank)?

What does it hold you back from? And what is confidence? What does having confidence mean? What does “being comfortable in the skin you’re in” mean to you?

Is it a way that you feel? Is it a way that you look? Is it an experience that you would have, or wouldn’t have? What does that actually look like in your life experience right now? 

I really like this quote by ee cummings: “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

I love that! Once we believe in ourselves … I think a lot of times what does hold us back is the lack of self-confidence and overcoming the fear.

And what is the fear … and how do you overcome the fear? Well, fear oftentimes is “I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. I can’t do it.  I’m not ever going to be able to do it.” And so, the key answer to the question is you’ve got to work on your self-confidence. You’ve got to work on your self-esteem. You’ve got to work on your value. You have to begin to put more attention towards what’s good and what’s working in your life, than what you’re afraid of, what you don’t know, what might not be good enough, or where your struggles have been.

So, I want to share a few ways that you can start to gain self-confidence. Each one of these could be a whole topic in and of itself. But I want to list a few here now and have you begin to see which ones jump out to you … and those could be the inspiration to make a little shift for yourself going forward … and allow you to gain some momentum to live more fully in what you want in this upcoming year.

I don’t believe confidence is about the external: the way you look, or your comparison to other people. I DO think confidence is much more about the story we tell ourselves. It’s so much more about our internal dialogue … and we use the external clues, people, experiences, events to prove to ourselves externally what we’re telling ourselves internally … which is usually “I’m not good enough. I’m not going to add up. It’s never going to work. I can’t get there.”

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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