There was a time when I was so disconnected from who I was at my core, so out of balance in my third energy, that I had to be spiritually bankrupt before I could finally discover my identity and worthiness. 

For most of my life, and for many reasons I did not understand until much later in life, I was raised to deny my authentic self. As a result I was a chameleon, shifting according to the environment I was in and what I thought those around me expected from me.

The instruction to hide my true identity was hammered into me. My mom always used to tell me, “Never talk about the family. Never talk about yourself.” I had to look and behave a certain way to fit into her idea of what was acceptable— she even picked my clothes! I wasn’t allowed to wear blue jeans — and this was the 70s when EVERYONE was wearing jeans. And my straight hair, well she made me curl it before I left the house to look more like her, conservative and not reflective of my taste or nature. You can imagine how her attempts to make me fit in actually made me stand out like a pigeon in a yard of peacocks.

Inherited Beliefs Can Take Control of Your Life

At the time, I didn’t understand that my mother was dealing with her own self-identity issues and she was doing her best to protect me. She was trying to keep me safe in the only way she knew how. 

Sometimes it seems as if life is random, crazy, a mistake of cosmic proportions. It isn’t. There is intent and purpose woven into the fabric of the universe. And your soul knows this. Your soul chose this lifetime for its own evolution, for humanity’s evolution. We humans are on a collective journey through diverse Earth experiences to integrate polarities and find our way back to balance, peace, and harmony. The soul is our guide.

The challenge for the soul-as-human is to reach peaceful harmony within a physical form with its complex emotions, thoughts, and anatomical circuitry. At times it can seem overwhelming. However, if you remind yourself that your soul chose the scenarios and experiences of your lifetime for its own growth and expansion, then perhaps you can come to acceptance and even gratitude. It’s not necessarily something that will make sense to the mind, but your heart naturally allows life to flow through it. If you remain centered in your heart, life will feel more whole and less fragmented.

“The God within me meets and recognizes the God within you” is the basic meaning of the word namaste.

Though we all seek different paths and adapt to our own unique beliefs, we are all made of the same energy and essence of God. Our life force as humans is the same. We have discovered among indigenous people of the world, that though they lived in separate countries and did not have the means to communicate, they shared similar rituals.We have the immense ability to connect with the human heart beyond language and geographical borders.

Let’s talk about Archangel Zadkiel today. He’s not one of the most common archangels. He’s one that a lot of people are unaware of, which is why he came into my space today. So, my intuition tells me that means, for all of us, we’ve got a little forgiveness work to do!

Archangel Zadkiel is the angel of forgiveness. He also helps us with mercy and benevolence.

Benevolence is kindness.

Forgiveness … that can be many types … of course, we’ve got forgiveness of others; forgiveness of our past; forgiveness of decisions; forgiveness of other people and what they’ve done or not done.

Then we’ve got forgiveness of ourselves; forgiveness of our choices; forgiveness of maybe sometimes just our way of seeing things.

So Zadkiel can help you with that. You can invite Archangel Zadkiel’s energy in to support you in forgiveness. Now, the way that I look at forgiveness is forgiveness to me is giving the energy back – not from a place of anger – but if you’re carrying energy from an old circumstance or situation –  blame, hatred, negative energy with someone, whatever – giving that energy back, releasing the energy and not holding it any longer. Giving it back to the universe, giving it back to the person – so that they can transmute it themselves.

I think that is a much better way to move through life than it is to carry energy from life experiences, choices, circumstances that have happened in your life and have you continue to just stew on it or use it as an excuse for not moving forward in your life.

Consider this possibility: Everything you don’t want in your life (pain, loss, difficult relationships, fear) could be there as a catalyst for you on your soul journey in this lifetime. What you resist or reject may be your greatest teacher. We come to Earth to have experiences, the full spectrum, not just the “good stuff.” That’s what being human is all about. And what is “good” anyway? The viewpoints of today can be completely reversed tomorrow. What you grieve over losing may later be shown to be a huge blessing. So what if everything is a blessing, no matter what it looks like?

Time Out … a Pause to Reflect

When nutrients are placed in a tissue culture dish, cells express growth behavior by moving to the stimulus and are open to assimilate the nutrition. In contrast, when toxins are placed in the culture dish, the cells engage in a protection response by moving away from the stimulus and closing themselves down to ward off the environmental threat. Growth behavior: Move to the stimulus and be “open.” Protection behavior: Move away from the stimulus and be “closed.” The insight offered by these cells is that organisms cannot move “to” and “away” from a stimulus, nor can they be “open” and “closed,” at the same time. The profound conclusion is that organisms can switch between either growth or protection, but they cannot engage in both behaviors simultaneously.

What position do you think an individual’s “survival” switch would be in response to each of the following two news bulletins: 1) “The annual flu season is back and as normal, there are certain populations whose lives are more threatened.” 2) “The COVID-19 virus is coming and millions may die.” In previous years, you may not have been overly concerned about the report offered in version 1. However, today’s corona flu pandemic, fraught with massive potential deaths, has almost the entire global civilization engaging in a protection response, hiding from one another and “locked down” in isolation. 

Most of you that are healers think that you need to use a modality until you remember that you are the magic. Once you understand that you are the magic, you’re free and you don’t need the wand anymore, or to twitch your nose, or blink your eyes. You don’t have to repeat any phrases or mantras, you just show up in your spectacular self and you bring your own magic to the party. 

Life becomes so much simpler when you know who you are. At some point you have to acknowledge the magic in you and you have to realize that that five year old inside of you is the magic.  When you resolve your inner conflict with your inner-child, and your inner-child feels safe, and you’re back to being child-like again, you’re free. 

Being child-like is returning to your pre-programmed, pre-conditioned self. It’s getting back to raw curiosity, pure joy, and enthusiasm. The more you realize that you are not defined by anything that is happening, the more you realize that you have the capacity to tap into your beautiful inner-child. When you connect from the beautiful being that you have in you, you’re free because that is where the magic is. 

I am so thankful that my life did not work out the way I wanted it to, the way I had envisioned it, the way I had prayed for it, the way I had intended. Thank God that my life didn’t bend to meet me in my limited lens of perception. 

Mark Twain said famously: 

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." 

The day I figured out why I was born, interestingly enough, was New Year’s Eve 2002/2003.  On that day, I had a direct experience with the Divine. I experienced God, The Divine, The Beloved, as an infinite ocean of love. No judgement, no criticism, no forgiveness - just love in its purest form.  Since that day, I have been no longer able to deny why I am here. I was shown very clearly that we are all connected to this love, every single one of us.  

Be Present with Feelings and Guidance

Unless there is actually something dangerous happening in this present moment, being fully in the moment brings a release of stress.

The wounded self is addicted to focusing on the past or future – ruminating about the past, perhaps with regret – and worrying about the future – trying to control it. If you notice your body while you are ruminating or worrying, you will notice that your body is tense. The tension is your inner guidance letting you know that your wounded self is in charge and you are abandoning yourself.

When you notice this, shift into being in this present moment and notice the peace and relaxation that floods your body.

The LAW OF UNITY is a foundational principle in my life.

I enjoy discovering the obvious. Personal experience has always had the most meaning for me.

Historically there is a belief it is possible to attain oneness or transcend material experience.

Awareness of the Unity of all creation is this same oneness.

Everything is Oneness. We cannot be out of oneness. We cannot journey to oneness if that is where we already are.

Distinctions can be made in basic dictionary definitions of Oneness and Unity.

ONENESS - the fact of being one single thing.

UNITY - a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one.

When one catches a glimpse of duality in the many forms of the manifest world as Unity in wholeness, duality reveals the beauty of Oneness in Everything.

The Law of Unity was originally called The Law of Alchemy.

EVERYTHING IS SACRED, NOTHING IS SPECIAL.

Are you wondering whether your path is the right one? Let me share a story that may help you. It’s about a time when I questioned whether mediumship was for me. I had a crazy day at my regular job and was heading home on the subway hoping for a second wind to do some readings that night.

As we lurched out of the station, the seat next to me remained empty. I shrugged and opened the book I was reading. When I looked up again, I saw an elderly nun.

“Hello, young man. You have a nice face. Is that seat taken?”

As she sat down, I noticed she had the kindest eyes I’d ever see. “My name is Sister Agnes, but most people call me Aggie." After I introduced myself, she asked if I could guess her occupation.

“You’re a schoolteacher,” I said with a smile.

There was a battle ship out in the waters, and the captain was out on the bridge and observed that he could see lights and there was another ship in the distance, so he said to the signalman “Please send the message that you need to change your course by 20 degrees.” And so they got a reply back immediately, “you change your course by 20 degrees”. So then the captain said to the signalman again, “You tell whoever that they are to move the course... It's a directive by 20 degrees.” And the message came back, “you move by 20 degrees.” Finally, the Captain said, “You tell them that we are a battleship and to move their course by 20 degrees.” And the message came back, “we are a Lighthouse.”

A lighthouse. Immovable. Unshakable. 

There is an absolute perfection and precision to your life. Your life has a purpose and you are loved. You are basically being moved by grace. And this is why there is nothing to resist or to worry about or to be afraid of because life and grace is moving you. There is an incredible destiny unfolding for each and everyone of you. 

The chance meeting you had with a human being, a moment of connection you shared with somebody, something that you read, something that you heard, something inspired you and that something was grace. There is a life waiting for you. If you are in the pause, just know that that pause is preparation. 

What’s fundamental?

The Practice:
Back to Basics.

Why?

In middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way through a couple easy songs. But after a few more weeks, I couldn’t go further because I hadn’t laid a foundation with scales and similar exercises – so I quit in frustration. To this day, I regret never learning to play a musical instrument.

I and others tend to skip over the fundamentals for a variety of reasons, including impatience, laziness, or a kind of arrogance that thinks we can sort of get away with not paying our dues. There’s also the subtle impact of our media, which showcases celebrities who seem to spring out of thin air – though actually it took years for them to become an overnight success.

But when we don’t take care of the fundamentals, the foundation is shaky for whatever we’ve built: a relationship, a career, personal well-being, spiritual practice – or playing the clarinet. Perhaps we can get away with this for awhile, but there’s usually a background cost in uneasiness, waiting for a day of reckoning, perhaps with the sense of being an imposter. And eventually, when a real challenge comes, the building shakes and maybe topples.

Many people still view difficult times as a spiritual challenge. The numbers are less than in the distant past, when catastrophes, tragedies, setbacks, and failures were seen in religious terms. An Old Testament plague was a sign of God’s wrath, but in modern secular society medical science gives a different explanation, based on research data and the rise of the scientific worldview.

And yet millions of people would find in the COVID-19 pandemic a test of faith and perhaps even a test for whether God is paying attention to human suffering. I’d like to offer a different viewpoint—difficult times can motivate you to place a higher value on your spiritual life. Out of confusion and conflict there is an inner journey to be made. This has been true for centuries, and modern times don’t erase the possibility.

For many, this is the Season of Light, a time of joy and celebration, a season for appreciation and giving.

For my family, Christmas can’t come soon enough and we’ve already begun sitting together in the evenings, taking turns choosing our favorite holiday songs to sing. I especially love “Silent Night.”

One of my teammates celebrated Diwali with her family the middle of last month, and another is beginning to prepare for the eight days of Chanukkah, her family’s traditional festival of lights.

Another member of our team is a student and teacher of A Course in Miracles which says, “Each of us is the light of the world, and by joining our minds in this light we proclaim the Kingdom of God together and as one.” (ACIM, T-6.II.13:5)

Looking at light more secularly, in just a few short weeks, the days here in my part of the world will grow longer, giving us more daylight to enjoy nature walks and other daytime activities.

If there was one thing that I could have shared with myself when I was 16 to 18 years old, I would have let myself know that it was okay to be peaceful. I feel like, in a world where individuals are constantly chasing things outside of themselves, bringing them moments of happiness, peace is actually where it’s at. And, it is fascinating because peace is actually our natural state of being. 

The majority of the world today is going through this pandemic, this unprecedented moment in human history, and lacking the awareness that peace is even an option for them.

How blessed are we that at least we have the awareness that we can be peaceful in our lives. And it’s not that things are necessarily going to change in our lives, or we’re all of a sudden going to become some other version of ourselves than we are at this moment, it’s just that we are going to fundamentally chill out.