One of our greatest challenges in relationships is to not get triggered into self-abandonment when others are unloving – to stay connected with ourselves rather than getting triggered into our wounded self.
“When I find myself in an unfriendly situation, I find it a challenge to take loving action towards myself. Even if I know the other person has a wound they are living out, I still become hurt and instead of tending to myself I demand an apology or cry or get angry. It’s difficult to search my mind for the loving action towards myself in the heat of the moment. How do I stay with myself in these moments?”
This is about becoming conscious of your intent and healing some underlying false beliefs. You demand an apology or cry or get angry because your intent is to control the other person rather than to be loving to yourself. You have not come to terms with your big false belief that you can control how others feel. And you have not defined your own worth through your spiritual connection. You are handing to the other person the responsibility of making you okay – they have to apologize in order for you to be okay.
Once you have done this healing work, then you can easily remember to put your hands on your heart, open to your guidance and invite compassion into your heart, bringing that compassion down to your inner child, who is hurting from the unloving behavior.
It is not realistic to expect yourself to not get triggered into your wounded self until you have done this level of healing. And, as you likely know, this is not an instant process. The more you practice Inner Bonding, the less reactive you will become – the less you will get triggered into your wounded self in the face of another’s wounded self. The more you practice compassionately attending to your own feelings with an intent to learn, the more loved by you your little girl will feel, and the less hurt you will feel in the face of others’ unloving behavior.
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